Wanted: the South County pothead who blew out birthday candles, rubbed the genie bottle and got the large end of the chicken breast bone.
Why? Because large clumps of cannabis started washing ashore in Laguna Beach this afternoon. It's a miracle!
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Lifeguards at Irvine Cove Beach started reporting the bushels of marijuana rolling in with the surf at the north end around 1 p.m.
That ain't no kelp, Wavy Gravy!
They don't make lifeguards like they used to because these water loggers did not start grabbing handfuls and calling it a day. No, they called Laguna Beach police, who arrived to start impounding the loose leaves, according to Capt. Jason Kravetz.
The Columbos back at the station house have a theory: a smuggling boat lost its load or sank, although no signs of such a craft have been observed yet.
Meanwhile, much respect to the dude in tie dye and dreads standing sentry at Irvine Cove Beach, an Iron Eyes Cody tear running down his cheek …
Email: mc****@oc******.com. Twitter: @MatthewTCoker. Follow OC Weekly on Twitter @ocweekly or on Facebook!

OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.