We know you've been thinking: What's the perfect Christmas gift this year for 13-term, Orange County Congressman Dana Rohrabacher?
Given Rohrabacher's recently revealed aversion to cleanliness, some people have suggested dozens of boxes loaded with Formula 409 All-Purpose Cleaner.
Others believe an industrial-strength Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner is a more appropriate gift.
Someone else, a prominent local Republican who knows the congressman well and has firsthand knowledge of his grime-covered digs, suggested employing Hazel, the TV maid, for a year.
But Rohrabacher's messes require the services of battle-scarred professionals who've seen the worst man can do.
With that fact in mind, the ideal gift for Dirty Dana is an on-call contract with the good folks at Crime Scene Steri-Clean, LLC.
Take a look at the crime scene carpet the congressman left when he moved out of a $1 million Costa Mesa rental home:
The company–which offers around the clock rapid response times–can handle the worst of Rohrabacher-type messes: human decomposition, urine/vomit/feces clean up and, a must for this unhygienic, booze-guzzling congressman who left white maggots under his stove, rodent extraction and clutter removal.
There's an added bonus of credibility because Orange County's Cory Chalmers, president of the company he created in 1995, has received community service awards from bipartisan sources: Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez (D-Anaheim) and Supervisor Todd Spitzer (R-Orange).