What the hell is the OC Music Festival?

Got a pamphlet in my mailbox today about next year's OC Music Fest, slated for the weekend of May 8-10. Never heard of it? Neither had I, but whoever's behind the fest sure has some grandiose plans. Here's what's being promised: 10 “A-List” acts (and allah only knows what'll define an “A-list” band); 30 “regional bands”; 60 “unsigned bands will play”; and a crowd between “40,000-60,000 . . . are expected to enjoy this seminal event.”

Notice that I said “Here's what's being promised” as opposed to “looks promising.” Because for right now, it doesn't. There's no way in holy hell any promoter, even crafty Goldenvoice, could get up to 60,000 bodies for a bill that's mostly made up of bands no one will have ever heard of (also no way people will pay the $169 they're asking for a 3-day pass–or $99 for single-day passes).

Naturally, there's a lot of hype in the pamphlet, too, part of a concerted effort at drumming up sponsorship bucks. Deep breath: “Orange County will become the center of the music universe as thousands of fans flock to the OC MUSIC FEST for a weekend of fun, food, fashion, and some of the finest music ever assembled at one pre-summer event…..The Orange County Music Festival is poised to be the Grand Daddy (sic) of them all, as communities come together to participate and share in the excitement of this 3 day long event…..”

Let's see, what else? The usual fest mix of vendor booths, a paintball course, a skate ramp, an Internet pavilion, etc. etc. In other words, it's nothing particularly different or innovative — so far, anyway, but one can hope — and nothing anyone hasn't already experienced at Coachella or Warped.

I'm more interested in knowing exactly WHERE this fest will supposedly go down. In the brochure, all it says is that it'll happen “where the 5 meets the 405,” which places it…..at the Great Park? Seems unlikely, at least not until they plant some grass there first. The Irvine Spectrum parking lot? REEEEALLY doubtful. Unless organizers are geographically challenged and are thinking of putting it near the other confluence of the 5 and 405… Of course, that would mean the San Fernando Valley. The Verizon Wireless/Irvine Meadows lot? Possibly. But my wise, age-old music fest expertise knows that a music fest largely waged on hot asphalt is no fun for anybody.

Anyway, their website is www.ocmusicfest09.com. Wish them luck.

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