For months, I have wanted a hamburger to go with my cold glass of 1888
steam beer California common beer (screw you and the trademark you rode in on, Anchor Brewing!) from Anaheim Brewery. For months, I have been teased–nay, taunted–by the sign promising Umami Burger immediately adjacent to the brewery. I had it all planned out–go have beer, eat burger and fries, stagger home so as not to arouse the ire of Anaheim's finest. A cunning and alcoholic plan, indeed.
Then Umami Burger got delayed. Then it got delayed again. Then they had
to re-design. Then, apparently, it was the wrong phase of the moon and
an inauspicious time to build a burger restaurant. There may have been an endangered species of fruit fly eggs discovered at some point–I don't know. I just know that a location in Laguna
Beach was announced; then they built a location in Costa Mesa in record
time, using labor that should've been dedicated to building my Umami
Burger. Laguna Beach opened last week. Anaheim lagged.
The beer started to taste
of the bitterness of dreams deferred. Not that Lindo Michoacán and Punjabi Tandoor
aren't good places to eat, but damn it, I'm an American man and I want a
hamburger and a beer. (Never mind that there are something like four
hundred places for me to accomplish this in Orange County alone, including the two aforementioned non-Anaheim locations of Umami Burger. That's
not the point. Be quiet.)
Now, however, it is finally time. Umami Burger opens in its new digs at 11 a.m. on July 1. My dream of a burger with my 1888 can be realized–and you all had better get out of my way, because I can deadlift three scruffy hipsters at once and, crowds or no crowds, I will not be denied.
Umami Burger Anaheim, which already has one Yelp review (four stars, possibly docked for not actually being open), is located at 338 S. Anaheim Blvd., Anaheim; while their phone number hasn't been published yet, you can find them at umamiburger.com.