Trendzilla: Yoni Eggs Exercise Your Vag

Want to make your sex life a billion times better, not pee your pants when you're old, and save your vagina from eventually falling out? Good! Let me introduce you to yoni eggs.

Yoni (the Sanskrit word for hoo-hahs) eggs are carved from crystal and precious gemstones, and they've been used for thousands of years as the best way to strengthen your pelvic muscles.Today's mainstream culture teaches us that Kegel exercises are mainly for erotic purposes and can be done just by squeezing your vagina muscles for dear life or with those nutty weight balls that give you orgasms in the grocery store. But we're not taught about why this is actually good.

The vagina is a muscle, and if muscles aren't worked out, they atrophy and lose feeling—or, in the vagina's case, just fall out [shudder]. Working a muscle promotes wellness in the rest of the body and, in the case of the vagina, skyrockets libido, increases natural lubrication and eliminates aging-related vaginal issues. Getting the muscles to exert themselves for longer periods of time requires resistance, however.

Jade eggs come in small, medium and large—large is usually for women who've had children, medium is for the average lady with no Kegel experience, and small is for ballers with vaginas so strong they can lift weights. They also come drilled for women who want a string attached to pull or add more weight. A great place to start is with sexpert Kim Anami, an acolyte so hardcore she's traveling the world and posting the crazy things she can lift with her vagina.

Finding good eggs requires some Googling, but hey, that effort and $40 is worth having a magical vagina, right?

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