Trendzilla: Splurge On Sparkling Manties!

About a decade ago, there was an article that didn't matter that said Britney Spears never wore the same pair of underwear twice; it instilled a curiosity about how much money people spend on undergarments. For us mere peasants, a $12 thong at Victoria's Secret is perplexing, if not insulting. It's literally a flap of fabric, neither well-constructed nor made of particularly fine materials.

But what about expensive underwear that is well-made? Is it ever worth the price tag?

We experimented. Croota, the men's underwear line from Australia, was kind enough to send us a pair of hipster briefs worth $25. Yikes! The blue-and-orange-plaid underwear had a thick waistband with the brand spelled out in sparkly lettering. There was no way these could be worth $25, but I made my boyfriend test them out.

“These are the gayest underwear I've ever worn,” he said as he stared at himself in the mirror, “and I don't mean they're stupid. I mean only young, homosexual men wear these.”

Then he started laughing. “But they're super-comfortable in an awkward, way-too-tight way,” he said. “I think it's the fabric. Just feels nice on my balls.”

I tried out an $18 hemp pair for ladies made by I Love Bad Organics and a $45 cashmere booty short from Sartoria. Bad Organics' panty was so soft and breathable I forgot I was wearing them; plus, the cut is flattering. As I would for a good pair of hiking socks, I would splurge on them—not for every day, but they can make the day. Sartoria's pair was pure bearskin-by-the-fireplace luxury. Cashmere on your butt feels just as good as you're imagining.

Meanwhile, my boyfriend's manties are still around—and absolutely worth ignoring the sparkle.

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