Come Sunday, it'll be nine years since Wally George, the ultimate crotchety conservative, left this world for the big public access talk show in the sky. The self-proclaimed father of “Combat TV” died of pneumonia in 2003 at age 71 inside Fountain Valley Hospital on Oct. 7. He left behind countless hours of wig-wearing,Bible-thumping, blood-boiling on-air rants against every lefty nutjob professor, pro wrestler, guitar-playing freako and pot-smoking Jeff Spicole look-a-like he could find to come on his legendary KDOC talk show, the Hot Seat.
10. Mark Dead of the Hags
Whittier punk band Last Round-Up had a few choice words for Wally when they came on his show to talk about their stance on cop-killing and violence in the streets. Band members “Elwood” and “Psycho” don't exactly come off as a couple of scholars, but they do get some classic insults in the midst of Wally's endless windbaggery. They even came prepared with their own photo of the Hot Seat host to rip to shreds in front of the throngs of frothing, mullet-sporting hillbillies in the audience.
Best Wally One-liner: “Don't get smart with me or I'll throw your ass OUTTA HERE!”
Every time Wally thought he'd seen it all, he always seemed to surprise himself with a new level of degenerate he was able coax onto the Hot Seat. But he really outdid himself when he asked Eldon Hoke (aka “El Duce”) and his band Mentors to swing by for a brief chat. A heavy metal band distinguishing themselves as the creators of “rape rock,” there's no doubt that these guys (especially Hoke, who died in 1997) were a bunch of sick fucks. Wearing their trademark black hoods, the L.A. band didn't stay long before they were booted off the stage, but not before Hoke uttered one of the creepiest, pirate-sounding quotes we've ever heard after a woman went up to the podium to ask a question: “What makes you think women want to be raped, peaceful or otherwise?”
Hoke: “Because I can tell by the look in their eyes!”
Best Wally One-liner: “I have had a lot of sick people on my program, but this is probably the sickest…whudda ya think?!”
5. The Offspring
Back before the Offspring smashed their way onto KROQ radio, the Huntington Beach punk band were getting their records smashed by Wally on the Hot Seat, though as you can tell from the clip, his frail hands had a little trouble crushing one of their vinyls. Had he been alive today, we wonder what he would've thought about “Cruising California (Bumpin' in My Truck).”
Best Wally One-Liner: “I think you are TOTALLY disgraceful!”
4. Radio Werewolf
Considering the volume of freakish musicians Wally had on his show week after week, it might as well have been Halloween all year round on his set. One band that epitomized that notion were L.A. goth rockers Radio Werewolf featuring lead singer Eddie Munster, er, Nikolas Schreck. He and Wally get into a classic round of verbal fisticuffs (start watching around the 6-minute mark). In addition to playing the anti-christ, Schreck espoused his love for Charles Manson and his world-wide youth cult movement. Oh, and he's also really good at yelling “SILENCE!” But the best part is when Wally gets caught choking on his own sensationalism when he asks if Schreck likes having sex with corpses. The singer's response is priceless: “It's a topic you should know a lot about since your seven ex-wives probably had to go through the same thing with you.”
Best Wally One-liner: “These vermin are the most vile group I've ever seen…ever!” (Really? Again?)
3. Rev. Bud Green of Just Say Yes
Some of Wally's best guests were reoccurring faces on the show. Few of those faces looked as majestic as Jesus look-a-like Rev. Bud Green from the band Just Say Yes, who frequently came on to talk about his crusade to spread the gospel of THC. This time around, he came by to talk about his creatively-titled Venice Beach-based movement, “The Religion of Drugs,” which found no favor with Wally or his old co-host David Kennedy ( who was also a reliable well of one-liners). Held up as the sandal-wearing antithesis of the Hot Seat host, Rev. Green is deftly versed in stoner rhetoric that definitely gives us the giggles..and we haven't even smoked anything yet.
Best Wally One-liner: Give me a close up of this guy's eyes. Now everybody across America can see that this guy is STONED OUT OF HIS MIND!”
Here's one band that never failed to test Wally's mettle as an interviewer. It's one thing to deal with freaks and burn-outs from the planet earth, but the duo of Oderus Urungus and Sleazy P. Martini probably secretly had him soiling his Depends. But to his credit, he held his ground against Urungus and his fake, monstrous alien wang to deliver a finger-wagging rant of galactic proportions.
Best Wally-One-liner: “AWWWW C'MON!”
1. Rebel Rebel
Pound for pound, Wally's interview with L.A. shock rock band Rebel Rebel has the most quotable one-liners in the history of the Hot Seat. Watching the kabuki-inspired KISS wannabes of RR talk up their irresistible studliness is comedy for the ages. Nothing puts the icing on a good punchline like a good “Woo!” from lead singer Jet the Patriarch. Known for performing sex acts and showing footage of abortions on stage, you couldn't ask for a better band to set Wally off. This clip will have you hitting the repeat button at least twice–hilarious! Not only that, but it perfectly embodies the potent mix of comical sensationalism and rage that basically defined the this show from the beginning. It almost makes us wish Wally was still around to keep doing his thing. On second thought…nah!
Best Wally One-Liner: “Speaking of abortions, I'm gonna perform an abortion right now, YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!.”