Social media has in fact taken not just over our lives, but the lives of almost everyone in the world that has the ability to use a computer or smart phone. And when it comes to Twitter and the use of hashtags, trust us, we get the need to keep it short and simple. But when it comes to Instagram all we can say is some of you really know how to overdo it with the excessive use of the “pound sign plus word.” We've noticed a lot of creativity when it comes to hashtags and for that, we applaud you. But for the rest of you repeating the same shit over and over (and over and over), we've decided that it's time to call you out so maybe you can muster up some originality and retire some of these oldies.
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10- #NoHashtagNeeded- This overused hashtag makes you look like a complete and total idiot because news flash, you just used a hashtag. Dummy.
9- #InstaGood- A comic buddy of ours (Jonny Loquasto) brought up the other night on Twitter that every time he sees this hashtag his, “brain has a miniature stroke out of anger at the human race.” We couldn't agree more. Listen, things can certainly be good. And yeah, things can also instantly get better. But “#InstaGood?” Get the fuck out of here. You're an #InstaAsshole for even saying that.
8- #UnFollowed- Hey tough guy. Just unfollow. No one needs a shout out about your actions or a hashtag to accompany it. Stop hiding behind the Internet being a coward. Get over yourself you #AttentionWhore.
7- #NoFilter– We get it. There are plenty of filters on Instagram that you can add and while you are taking your 100th selfie for the day, you might think that you look soooo amazing that you don't need a “filter.” Since your friends clearly don't have the heart to tell you allow us to do it. No one cares if you use a filter or not so next time, just try not to announce it.
6- #WhereTheyDoThatAt- Wake up people. Not only is this hashtag grammatically heinous, “they” do that all over the world. In case you didn't notice, there are a lot of people that do things that you might not do. These people also might not live where you live. So that's where they “do that at.” “They do that” everywhere you aren't. Quit being so dramatic.
5- #FoodPorn- Stop it. It sounds like you want to fuck your food. And if you do, we're not trying to pass judgment. BUT…unless you are some straight-laced mofo saving themselves for marriage so you happen to be sticking it to a cantaloupe in the meantime, knock the #FoodPorn hashtag off. That quiche isn't porn. It's food! Just leave it at that. Also, no one gives a shit what you are eating and that's just an FYI.
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4- #TurntUp- This hashtag really gets us all sorts of fired up. Rather, it get us turned up. See what we did there? We used the PROPER word which is “turned,” not “turnt.” Come on now, if your grade school English teacher saw how some of you were butchering our glorious language you know you'd get a one way ticket to summer school. And you'd deserve it.
3- #NomNomNom- If you are over the age of five-years-old or if you are an adult that is NOT talking to a child under the age of five-years-old please, for the love of all that is sacred, stop saying “nom nom nom” to describe delicious food. Use your big boy or big girl words. It's fucking ridiculous and it sounds (and reads) revolting. Enough said.
2- #InstaFunny- This seriously might be the worst “insta” of all of the “insta's.” It instantly makes it unfunny. And let's be 100% honest with each other too, once we view this #InstaFunny video or picture, it's immediately #InstaUnFunny. Also, using this played out #InstaFunny hashtag doesn't make you look funnier. The more you know.
1- #SelfieSunday- Hilarious. This hashtag is the worst of all so let's get serious for a minute while we break it down because a few of you could use a little dose of honesty. Some of you post “selfies” every fucking day of the week and enough is enough. You look the same on Sunday as you did yesterday and furthermore, for those of you adults that feel the need to take a “selfie” (Monday through Sunday) with your tongue hanging out of your mouth? It's absolutely repulsive. Stop lying to yourself and pretending that #SelfieSunday is the only day that you do this. Just #Stop.
See also:
Steve-O Found a Way to Work Manginas Into His Stand-Up Comedy
10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time
10 Douchiest Drummers of All Time
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Ali Lerman knows much about comedy, basketball, and celebrating Wu-Tang Wednesday. She’s been writing for sixteen years and still calls her mom with grammatical questions.