What in tarnation is going on with substitute teachers these days?
Tuesday night, we had Gwyneth Paltrow's sub on Glee shaking her groove thang, chastising chastity and generally sexing up the screen. Why, it was enough make Bristol Palin pop out another kid out of wedlock.
Now comes a report of a substitute teacher supposedly showing up drunk to a Mission Viejo school, which is ridiculous because Glee's drunk episode was last week.
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Someone passing a music classroom at Carl Hankey
K-8 School Friday afternoon peered inside to see students dancing on chairs and tables. Boys in the classroom reported that the substitute teacher, who showed up at 12:45 p.m., had declared it Dance On Chairs and Tables Day and was generally acting strangely.
At one point, the principal saw the sub, who has yet to be identified, stumbling out of the classroom. The principal then called the teacher into the front office and detected a strong odor of alcohol. You didn't have to be Sue Sylvester to know what was what.
The principal later called the Orange County Sheriff's Department because the sub did not appear to be in any condition to drive home. But when deputies arrived, she was already gone. They searched the area and could not find her.
The sheriff's department then got a call around 5 p.m. about the teacher having acted inappropriately with three sixth-grade boys. Officials did not disclose the nature of the alleged misconduct, saying the investigation is continuing. Witness interviews were conducted at Carl Hankey on Monday.
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.