Sick Soup: The Only Soup In the World Guaranteed to Make You Lose Weight!

I've never had a real issue with weight (fending off death threats and subpoenas tends to make you stay skinny), but I've always had a problem with my gut. My family nickname was Lagartijo (“lizard”) due to my puny arms and legs but impressive panza. I usually don't have a problem with it–but last year, I had to attend an event that required me to wear a suit. My traditional outfit of guayabera and Chucks just wouldn't do.

I loathe working out and limiting my food choices, so my chica put me on a strict home diet of her Sick Soup, a potage of her own discovery that she makes when suffering from the flu. It's great for that, but the stuff also clears your digestive system with its mixture of roughage, spices and more. Within three months of eating almost nothing but the sick soup and eating out for my food reviews, I had lost 10 pounds and was able to fit into my suit. Now, though . . . gotta stick to that Sick Soup!

This is the link to my chica's recipe; the actual ingredients after the jump!


  • 1 onion, sliced
  • 2 to 4 carrots, chopped
  • 4 cloves garlic, chopped
  • greens (chard, beet, mustard, kale or cabbage), chopped
  • 1/2 cup lime juice
  • 2-3 tablespoons miso
  • 1 to 2 inch piece of fresh ginger cut into a few pieces
  • 2 tablespoons Braggs Liquid Amino Acids (or more)
  • A few squirts of Sriracha
  • 6 to 8 cups vegetable broth with (optional) large can crushed tomatoes (optional only for large quantities of soup)
  • udon noodles (optional)
  • parsley, salt and pepper, plus other favorite seasonings (all optional)


1. Saute the garlic and onions in olive oil for 2 to 3 minutes. Add carrots, sauté for another 2 to 3 minutes.

2. Add the broth, bring to boil. Add miso, Sriracha, tomatoes (if you want) and ginger. Bring to a boil.

3. During this time, cook the noodles (if you have them) in a separate pot until just about ready. Cool and set aside.

4. Add
everything else (except noodles) and season to taste. Add noodles in last
few minutes or when it's piping-hot in a large soup bowl.

This concoction  will last the rest of the week in the fridge (cool before you put it
in) and is great if you are too weak to make something from scratch. And now watch that panza shrink. . . .

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