Star Crossed

Illustration by Bob AulAs if to counteract the all-consuming ooze of Oscar and Golden Globe buzz, anti-celebrity rage sites have proliferated on the Web, subjecting icons like Britney Spears and Pokmon to a bewildering array of torture and humiliation scenarios—once again confirming the adage that in cyberspace, everyone can hear you scream. While gratuitous celebrity-dissing …

The Virtual New Year

Illustration by Bob AulIt's almost upon us: Jan. 1, 2000,the date on which either (if you believe the government) nothing will happen or (if you believe the survivalists) civilization will collapse. I personally come down on the sunnier side of the spectrum, but if you're one of those crouching in a closet atop a stack …

End-of-the-year/decade/ century/illennium lists are a worn-out excuse for music journalism, but—like John McCain and soft-money contributions —we can't stop being involved with them until everybody else stops first.We'll concentrate on 1999's best discs of the local crop, skipping the big-boffo national acts you're already reading about on a zillion other lists (if you really wanna …

I Was Just an Asshole

photo by Jack GouldIt's the stuff of which punk legends are made. Jack Grisham—the tall, disturbingly dark and handsome vocalist in the OC old-school punk band T.S.O.L.—once brought a kid from the audience up onstage, tied him to a chair, and lit a pile of papers underneath him until the fan's clothes caught fire. In …

The Aquabats are a bunch of giddy freaks

Korn . . . grrrrr! Limp Bizkit . . . grrrrr! Rage Against the Machine . . . grrrrr! Systemofadowngodsmackdeftonesever lasthedpekidrockrammsteinrobzombie trentreznoreminemorgypowerman5000 . . . grrrrr, grrrrr, grrrrr! And then there are the Aquabats, OC's superhero-costumed antidote to aural angst. They're the ultimate anti-anger band in this Age of Rage, so we just had to …

Fight the Power

Imagine a punk rock group named after a lethal flaming cocktail typically thrown at cops. Imagine that the cover of this band's first album is a photograph of the supple thighs of a Catholic schoolgirl in the back seat of a car, and that her frilly white panties appear to be sliding down her knees. …

Not Angry No More

Ten years after gangsta rap came straight outta Compton (and zoomed through Long Beach) to become hip-hop's hardcore caricature of itself, Warren G is closing in on the new millennium as one of the genre's most surprising success stories. Rather than playing to his audiences by replaying the same tired Boyz in tha 'Hoodwink, Warren …

Anger Is a Gift

photo by Jack GouldOhhh, my god, I looove Rage. They make me so aggro!” says the quite buzzed, petite Cameron Diaz look-alike who has somehow latched onto me moments before the start of this not-much-of-a-surprise surprise Rage Against the Machine show at LA's El Rey Theatre. “I've been into them ever since the Fuck You …

Guilty Pleasures

1001 C'mon, knowing you like it. 1002 Oh, yes, knowing very much that you do. 1003 Noshing large pickleson Tom Sawyer's Island. 1004 It seeming that pickles were larger when we were kids. 1005 And it seeming that time moved slower. 1006 And that tomatoes actually tasted like tomatoes. 1007 Digressing. Krispy Kreme. 1008 Wandering …

Guilty Pleasures

401 Balboa Barstopped with just those little chocolate sprinkles-none of that butter brickle or peanuts or that other stuff they use to top Balboa Bars. Dad's Donut Shop N Bakery, 318 Marine Ave., Balboa Island, (949) 673-8686. 402 Aw, no, for a real Balboa Bar, you gotta go with the peanuts. That other shit's for …