Police received a call at 10:38 a.m. Friday that a man was masturbating while driving a Toyota Prius at Irvine Boulevard and Browning Avenue in Tustin.
Gentlemen (and Danica Patrick), start your en-jokes . . .
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Is that a drive shaft or are you just happy to see me?
Pray he paid the dealer to Scotchgard the upholstery.
I'm pretty sure that's not what was meant by “Oh what a feeling.”
Don't even get him around a plug-in hybrid.
I can tell by his stick shift he's Jewish.
OK, your turn . . .
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.