Our Sincerest Apologies to Catholic Readers About Christopher Heath

…For denying you the pedophile-apologist stylings of Father Christopher Heath, priest at St. Edward the Confessor in Dana Point. A faithful reader turned us on to Heath's blog today, where he reveals that Monsignor John Urell is back after skipping out to Canada for half-a-year to deal with the anxiety brought on by his pedo-protecting ways. Rather, that's the truth: Heath's spin is Urell is “healing from the horrible stress of accusations and media attention.”

“Accusations and media attention,” Chris? That's not what Urell said during his deposition last fall in the Jeff Andrade matter. Besides, what exactly were the accusations? That Urell shielded pedophiles? In his own writing. And media attention? If we left it up to officials at your employer, the Diocese of Orange, it would be like the good ol' days of sealed settlements.

That's Heath's most recent idiocies. After the jump, much more—and some dishing about his new personal trainer and Toyota Prius!

Heath signifies the worst of modern-day Catholicism: vanity and blinders. In his blog, Heath has talked about whitening his teeth, hiring a personal trainer, and leasing a Prius, indulgences no doubt appreciated by Catholic parents who have had to see their local parish schools close because of the Church's fancy homes and multi-million-dollar settlements to deal with the pedophilia they condoned for so long.

And about those settlements: Heath doesn't like them. “I'm just tired of how the Church is vilified and looted because we're the deep pocket,” he wrote after Orange Bishop Tod D. Brown paid millions last fall to four young women who were raped by diocesan instructors. He admits to not knowing crap about three of the cases, but considers himself enough of an authority on Christina Ruiz (raped by former Mater Dei boys' basketball assistant coach Andrade) to pass judgment. “Women I talk to don't have much sympathy for a teenager who's willing to have an 18-month relationship with an adult, and able to keep it a secret from authorities,” Heath writes, and since he doesn't challenge the assertion, we know how Heath feels. He also maintains the Orange diocese did nothing wrong in the case—HA!

That's all for today. But do visit Heath's blog for a laugh whenever you have a chance. And, again: my sincerest apologies for denying everyone his slime.

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