The dog days of summer are upon us and that means two things for my fellow OC cuties: squeezing every motherfucking second left of all the amazing summer happenings, and beating the abysmal global warming style heat that’s been pummeling us for the better half of the last 3 months. One of my personal favorite ways to stay cool in these beautiful yet harsh conditions is to enjoy an iced cool bevvy that not only refreshes, but partially defines my identity like an astrological sign handed down from the gods of grocery capital themselves: LA CROIX!
For those too cool for contemporary life or who have managed to avoid the internet for the last year, La Croix has become the craft beer of clean hydration, a sub culture within itself that has amassed a cult following by creatives, musicians, mom bloggers, activists, punks, hipsters, and all in between. Cool and bubbly like beer, PG like a Diet Coke, it’s the perfect drink for lots of occasions and that cute little can doesn’t hurt either. So here it is OC, the list we didn’t know we needed until now- the late summer event and La Croix pairing guide!
The Weirdos with Broken Patron Saints, Soto St, and Splntr, at Underground DTSA and La Croix Pure (Thursday August 11th)
We’re gonna kick it off with two originals here: arguably the first, and one of the best Los Angeles punk rock bands to grace the Masque stage and make it to the 21st century, and the first La Croix to shake up Wisconson back in ’81. If you’re thinking about hitting up The Weirdos show this Thursday at Underground you probably prefer that the things in your life that are either raw, from the ‘80s, or both. Young punx don’t fret- this show is all ages so you and your OG bubble water can take a few spins around the pit to “We Got the Neutron Bomb” with the old timers and their tall cans. Like old school punk rock, La Croix Pure isn’t trying to be anything but what it is: classic, cool, and refreshingly bitter.
The Weirdos perform at The Underground DTSA, Thursday August 11th, 8p.m.. 220 E 3rd St, Santa Ana, CA, 92701. All Ages.
GayC/DC, Sallie May, Tragic Radicals at the Doll Hut and Berry La Croix (Fri Aug 12th)
If you are going to this show you are probably gay and tough as nails. But not the kind of gay bestie that romantic comedies like to imagine, one that wears leather and carries a spiked bat and doesn’t give a shit that you used to like Limpwrist and isn’t about to take any bullshit from anybody. You will not just sip that Berry La Croix in that sweaty little punk shack, you’ll chug it, let it drip out of the side of your mouth, and if anyone has anything to say about it they better fucking pray to their maker you don’t catch them slippin’. For the 7 straight people coming to this show, you are probably badass and also free to enjoy a fresh Berry, but please reconsider wearing that G.L.O.S.S. shirt, you’ll thank me later.
GayC/DC perform at The Doll Hut Friday August 12th, 107 S Adams, Anaheim, 9 p.m. CA 21+, $8.
Day N Night Fest at Oak Canyon Ranch and Lime La Croix (Sat Aug 13th)
Lets just get this out of the way: you are a trendsetter. Your friends have been hitting you up for mix tapes since middle school. You were a legit, ground-level 2012 A$AP Rocky fan, years before he was over packing festival stages. You're not much of a boozer and have been drinking La Croix years before all these people jumped on the bandwagon, but would also be just as happy with a Perrier or the real MVP and number one choice of local sparkling water aficionados: Topo muthafukin' Chico with a fresh lime wedge. But cans are way easier to juggle around in a backpack than those cute lil'glass Topo Chico bottles, and imagine how great that bright green can is gonna look against the backdrop of dry mountains in Oak Canyon Ranch.
Day N Night festival is Saturday August 13th and Sunday August 14th, 5305 Santiago Canyon Road, Silverado, CA, 92676. All ages, $205.
Motorhome Madness Demolition Derby at the OC Fair and Coconut La Croix (August 11th and Aug 14th)
If I even need to tell you why this makes sense you obviously don’t know greatness when you see it. I’ll be sneaking in a few chilled cans of Coconut La Croix next to my sunscreen and Make America Mexico Again cap. While I have redneck DNA and thoroughly enjoying watching metal crash into metal on a track made completely of dirt, Bud Light, and blood, I’m not a monster. Also, this is a great opportunity to remember that La Croix used to be distributed by the same company as Faygo, so suck on that, Pamplemousse hipsters.
Motorhome Madness takes place Sunday August 14th at the Action Sports Arena at the OC Fair. 100 Fair Drive, Costa Mesa, CA, 7:30 p.m., All Ages
Alabama Shakes at Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre and Apricot La Croix (Aug 14)
Both Alabama Shakes and Apricot La Croix are underappreciated and absolutely incredible. If you consider yourself a music fan and aren’t listening to Alabama Shakes right now, you're missing out on the heyday of what will certainly be considered one of the most amazing and creative, quintessentially American blues rock bands of the 21st century, so seriously go listen to their latest record Sound and Color right now. They’re experiencing a bit of mainstream success and rightfully so. Brittany Howard’s scream at the beginning of “Don’t Wanna Fight” will literally make the hair on your arms stand every single time you listen to it. Like Alabama Shakes, sweet fruit drinks boast heavy Southern summer vibes, and apricot La Croix is one of the best sparkling water beverages ever created. Both are perfect for summer. Both have come to redefine the way I believe the world can be.
Alabama Shakes perform at Irvine Meadows Amphitheater Sunday August 14th, 8808 Irvine Center Drive, Irvine, CA. 7:30 p.m., All ages. $35-$235
Mummies of the World at Bowers and Muré Pepino (Tuesday-Sunday 10-4, through September 5th)
Just when you thought you knew everything about La Croix’s formula for success, they throw a veggie at you! At first, the flavor combination of blackberry and cucumber sounds like it would be jarring, perhaps as jarring as walking through a room filled with the mummified remains of people who walked the earth hundreds (or thousands!) of years before we did. But history and learning is cool, and so are cucumbers. Mummies of the World is in its final weeks at Bowers in Santa Ana, so why not grab a stylish Muré Pepino and get your cool nerd on!
Bowers Museum is located at 2002 N Main Street, Santa Ana, CA, 92706. All ages, $10-27 depending on age and date of visit. (PS If you are a Santa Ana resident- you can go free on Sundays thanks to the Dorothy Goerl Lockhart Family grant! Bring your ID or utility bill.)
Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas at the Honda Center and Pamplemousse La Croix (Wednesday Aug 17th)
I have been listening to punk for way too long so unfortunately I don’t quite understand the lure and mystique of a double header Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas bill, but they look very cool and a $1,715 ticket price sure suggests they are. However, I do know one thing, much like pop music, Pamplemousse La Croix is the easiest on the palette, and very cool at the moment. Pop fans love grapefruit and relevancy, so if that’s your jam, consider sipping a cool Pamplemousse in the Uber on the way to the show.
Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas perform at Honda Center Wednesday August 17th, 2695 E Katella Ave, Anaheim, CA. 7 p.m., All ages, $29-$1,715
Pageant of the Masters and La Croix Ni Cola (Nightly through August 31st)
The strange but rad OC festival tradition Pageant of the Masters is celebrating its 83rd year of humans gawking at humans painted to look like classic art while a live orchestra plays. Enjoy a La Croix Ni Cola, which like Pageant of the Masters, is old school and hard to put your finger on. Is it cola? Is it water? Its non-confrontational art baby, just shut up and enjoy it in all its perfection and weirdness.
Pageant of the Masters is located at 650 Laguna Canyon Road, Laguna Beach, CA, 92651. All ages, 8:30 p.m.
Bad Cop/Bad Cop with Spare Parts for Broken Hearts at Diego's and Kiwi Sandía La Croix (Saturday Aug 20th)
Bright like Bad Cop/Bad Cop’s classic pop-punk guitar tone, and sweet like that cute little donut logo, Kiwi Sandía La Croix and a Bad Cop/Bad Cop show are a match made in heaven. Also, Spare Parts for Broken Hearts are playing, and they’re amazing too. Bad Cop/Bad Cop are at the top of their game and just came off a seriously rigorous punk touring cycle including Europe, the UK, and all over the US, so it’s a treat they are doing a free hometown show. It's gonna get sweaty in there for sure, and that ultra femme tall can will have you looking like a boss and feeling refreshed.
Bad Cop/Bad Cop and Spare Parts for Broken Hearts perform at Diegos Rock n Roll Kitchen, 220 E 3rd Street, Santa Ana, CA., 9 p.m. 21+, FREE!
Go Go Erotic Wrestling at The Yost and Cerise Limón La Croix (Aug 24)
I mean, wrestling is already kind of erotic, but I guess the folks from Go Go Lucha wanted to really spell it out and take it up to the next level. Like many of you reading this, I myself feel like I need more information, but couldn’t resist including erotic wrestling on my list. Like, what will the scenarios be? Much like the mystery clouding the details of this event, Cerise Limón La Croix is difficult to come by and a strange flavor combo, but cherry limón flavored La Croix would probably be perfect to confusedly cool off with. Cherry is a sexy flavor right? And lime has that bite, so its basically like as freaky as La Croix gets. Somehow there will be live music, erotic wrestling, pro wrestling, and sexy gogo dancing all wrapped into one weird Wednesday.
Go Go Erotic Wrestling will be held at The Yost Theater, 307 N Spurgeon, Santa Ana, CA, 92701. Wednesday August 24th at 8p.m. $20, 18+