Hola! Me llamo Dick Nichols! That's Mexican for “Howdy, I'm Newport Beach/Corona del Mar Councilman Dick Nichols!” You may remember me as the guy who knows how to spot Mexican motorists driving through Newport Beach or as the guy who recently opposed adding grass areas to city beaches because everyone knows turf and surf brings in your Mexicans. That's gotten me into a lot of trouble, what with people calling me a racist and demanding I resign and so forth. But my words were taken out of context. You see, I love the Mexican: the sleepy smile, the jaunty sombrero, the habit of sleeping in the shade of cacti, the charming lack of ambition. When I said I could spot a Mexican driver, I didn't mean it as a bad thing, I was just bragging about this talent I've been given—a skill I can teach you. Play my “Dick Nichols Spot the Mexican Challenge.” Throughout this, my favorite publication, I've hidden pictures of My favorite Mexican actor, El Califas—but you can call him Pablo. He likes it! Wake up, Pablo! Ha! Ha! He could be anywhere—somewhere you'd expect (waiting for a bus) or somewhere you wouldn't (occupying my table at the Five Crowns). See how many Mexicans you can find in the paper, write down the total number and the pages you saw her on and send your answers to Dick Nichols Spot the Mexican Challenge, OC Weekly, 151 Kalmus H-10, Costa Mesa, CA 926126 or e-mail them to le*****@oc******.com, re: Spot the Mexican! All correct entries will be entered into a drawing. The winner, drawn at random by someone who looks very much like Pablo, will win—get this!—a nickel! See, because my name is “Nichols,” they're going to give away a nickel, which sounds like my name! Sure, a nickle doesn't seem like much, but it actually equals 14.7 million pesos! Good luck, amigos! That's Mexican for friends! Now find those Mexicans!
