Yo Gabba Gabba: Yo Smoka Smoka!

It has come to our attention that the more than slightly trippy kiddie show Yo Gabba Gabba! has Orange roots. Filmed in Long Beach and produced in our fair county by the folks who brought us The Aquabats, the show is filled with funky techno beats, '70s-inspired costumes, zany characters and meaningless, far-out interludes—which often involve children flying around on decapitated robots or stuffed animals.

Yo Gabba Gabba! features several characters:

DJ Lance, the main character, wears an orange track suit topped off with wrist bands, lensless glasses and a fuzzy orange British Guard hat with a star in the middle. He carries a giant boom box around that opens up to reveal five toys that come alive when strange dust is sprinkled on them (a metaphor for . . . ?). The toys are described below.

Toodie is a large blue cat-like creature with dinosaur spikes going down its spine. It also has spiky teeth.

Foofa is reminiscent of a pink Hershey's Kiss, or steaming pile of poopie. She loves flowers and wears one behind where her ear would be, if she had any.

Muno is a giant red cyclops with mumps covering its entire body. Phallic symbol? Walking STD?

Brobee appears to be a midget in a green striped suit who has extra-long arms (possibly held up by sticks). It has a unibrow and some pretty gnarly breath.

Flex is a robot who zaps things like Elijah Wood down into the little creature world where they live. He also does a killer robot.

In short, this show is like an acid trip with no come-down. It rocks six ways from Sunday, and if I had a kid, I would force this show on him just to see how he'd turn out in 20 years or so.

To compare the effect this program has on the minds of the future, we decided to conduct an ongoing experiment. We taped several episodes of the hit show and shared them in separate, controlled environments with one 4-year-old child and one 23-year-old stoned adult*.

Here are the results of the first showing. The episode is titled “Dance.”

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Four-year-old Daphne's recap:

“Look, it's DJ Lance Rock. . . . Phoebe [her eight-month-old sister] likes DJ Lance Rock. I like Toodie. She's my favorite. She's a blue cat. . . . Look at them dance! That's funny, huh? . . .

“Why did he take his hat off? I like his hat. It's orange and . . . um . . . orange. . . . I like making funny faces! Look! I'm making funny faces, too! . . .

I want to watch another Yo Gabba Gabba! Please? Two more? One more?”

Note: Daphne left the room briefly to use the bathroom right around the time the “I'm sorry” song came on. Social commentary? We think so.

Stoned recap:

“Holy shit. Look at DJ Lance Rock. Dude, he can really jam! It's a dance party. Fuckin' phat beats! Techno rock style. Hell, yeah! Jam time!

Go Toodie. Go Toodie. Go Toodie. That cat is my favorite. [laughter] Give me another cookie. This shit is too funny!

Damn, DJ Lance . . . You take that hat off. Sexy man. Oh, yeah. Move like that. Can I get some water in here?

I can't believe this shit. Oh, my god. That robot just zapped something out of his head. It's the kid from Nacho Libre! He's moving around like a sea creature. [laughter]

Oh, no. These kids are making obscene gestures with their mouths. This is just wrong.

Ugh. Someone fast forward past this song. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” Over and over. Make it stop. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

The ending to this show is like when Mr. Mugatu was trying to brainwash Zoolander into killing the Malaysian prime minister. I'm feeling strangely relaxed. I don't think I can get up from the couch. Hey, can someone rewind this so that I can watch it again? Please? Pretty Please?

*Because this television masterpiece was intended for the entertainment of children, we felt it necessary to revert the adult brain back to a childlike mindset in order to enjoy it to its highest extent (read: we forced the 23-year-old to smoke pot).

Yo Gabba Gabba shows at 10:30 a.m. on weekdays on Nickelodeon.

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