Disneyland Resort media types had said it would be Kobe Bryant
and other unnamed Lakers visiting the Anaheim theme park today for a
victory parade down Main Street USA. But just like the name on the MVP
award, Bryant was the only Laker to be found.
Now, there could be a lot of reasons for this. Many players live out of
town–heck–out of state–hell's bells–out of the country. Prior
commitments, fear of freeway traffic and family obligations (“I've had
these rugrats all season; here, you take 'em!”) often get in the way.
Or could it have been something else. This was Bryant's first
championship trophy sans Shaq. He has proven to all his detractors that
he is indeed as great as the Jordanesque hype. He was all alone on the
stage with Conan on The Tonight Show Wednesday night. Thinking
conspiratorially–of course, naturally, that's what we in the media are
paid to do–could the Kobester believe in that God-touched head that he
did this alone and, thus, deserves the Main Street USA adulation alone?
]
Oh, who gives a fuck. Just go win another ring, 24! Win as many as the number on your jersey.
Speaking of 24 jerseys, anyone get a load of the fat messes stretching
out XXXL Lakers 24 Kobe Bryant jerseys during Wednesday's LA parade? You could fit, like, 12 Kobes
in those guy's gold mesh tents. Or six Shaqs!
Finally, to counter-balance those awful notions I raised above (in
total jest, mind you; please approve my 2010 credentials, Staples
Center!), there is this opinion of the Disneyland parade from
photographer Andrew Youssef:
“It was a blast! I was grinning the whole time. They gave us comp
tickets and a $15 food voucher. If I had a recorder or video, I could
have even interviewed Kobe for 2 mins (hence the close up pics)!!! It
was really low profile in that only the hardcore fans knew what was
going on. So it wasn't super bonkers.”
I apologize for that stupid conspiracy theory. Obviously, it was the
hardcore fans who conspired to keep Fish, Pau, L.O., The Machine and
Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke away to keep this whole deal from reaching super-bonkers status. My bad.
Please enjoy Youssef's slideshow. Toast the champs. Then get hungry for next year.
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.