War is Hell, But It Needn't Be Smelly

Have you ever wanted to smell like a Marine?

Better yet, have you ever smelled a Marine, just stuck your nose way in there into one of them and taken a big snort before slapping him on the back and thanking him for his service.

That's the smell of freedom, my friend.

Or, perhaps it's the smell of The American Line, officially licensed men's colognes for each branch of the U.S. military. 

Ah, the hoo-rah of it!

Apparently produced by neither The Onion nor Saturday Night Live, The American Line is billed as a product of a start-up company that claims it will divert at least some of its proceeds to the fragrent U.S. Veterans Administration.

Calling this “a story that should be told,” the company's Van Nuys-based flack says of the minds behind The American Line, “They have spent countless hours with current servicemen and veterans putting this product together. Needless to say, there is huge appeal for this brand among millions of active and veteran servicemen as well as families, friends and admirers.”  

Of course, who wouldn't want to hit the clubs smelling like a crusty old rear admiral?

“Drop and do 20, maggot! But not before pausing at my ankle for a whiff!”

Perhaps a fragrance dedicated to the chickenhawks in Congress will come next.

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