TaxiCard: Keeping Your Drunk Ass Off The Street

Announced today, MJM Innovations, a technology firm that focuses on transportation services, will launch the TaxiCard: a prepaid, reloadable card to be used for taxis and limos.

Jeffrey Venick, CEO, gave this statement: “TaxiCard is easy to use and manage because it eliminates the need to carry cash. . . . Each time the card is used, the transaction amount is automatically deducted from the balance.”

It’s kind of like a credit card! A credit card that can only be used for taxis.

Wait . . . why not just use a credit card in the first place? Do we really need one more thing to carry around when we go bar-hopping? I already have a hard enough time keeping track of my keys, driver's license, lip gloss . . .

Unless, of course, you're worried that sneaky cab driver is going to steal your identity in the three seconds he’s handling your MasterCard.

Oh, by the way, TaxiCard is only available for drivers who accept Discover, a.k.a. the redheaded step-child of the credit family.

Venick said TaxiCard will appeal to a broad range of customers, especially students and senior citizens.

“We’re confident that parents of college students will appreciate the assurance that a student carrying a TaxiCard won’t be stranded somewhere without a ride,” Venick stated. “It’s a great way to help seniors close the mobility gap that occurs when life expectancy exceeds driving expectancy.”


What they really mean is TaxiCard will appeal to a broad range of drunks with bad credit.

That would have been a good campaign: Keeping more drunks off the road.

I guess it could make a good gift card, though. “Here, sweetie! Go get shitfaced.”

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