Larry Agran and his acolytes will undoubtedly crow about Irvine getting ranked for the fifth straight year as America's safest big city, and good for them! Irvine is a cool town, with lots of parks, great restaurants, and a multicultural community that sprang up despite the intentions of Irvine Co. head Don Bren. Mayor Sukhee Kang told the press that his city earned the distinction by “planning, leadership, and a partnership between police and the community for the low crime rate,” and amen on the last part. Irvine is filled with so many NIMBYers that I now refuse to visit any house or living complex in the city.
Let me explain. A couple of years ago, I bought a 1974 Cadillac Eldorado convertible from Clockwork Coker. Beautiful boat, in good condition–needs a new paint job and some buffing, but still draws jealous glances. One time last year, I paid a visit to a lady friend and stayed overnight. The following day, I found a warning ticket on the Eldo for parking in the same spot more than 72 hours in a row. It happened to me three other times, all because of idiot Irvine…ians? -Ites? -ene? Whatever. They ratted out my Eldo as a public nuisance even though I had only parked it overnight! It wasn't racism on their part but rank classism. Drive a Lexus? You're fine. A classic Mustang? Okay. But navigate a car loved only by African-Americans, Mexicans, and white guys who think they're one or the other? Busted!
Irvine, congratulations on being so safe. But learn that poor people are okay as well some day, m'kay?
