Crime Time: Nekkid Folks, Robber Baby, Strip-Club Stabbers, Loaded Brownie and a Flaming Bag of Poo

It's the Weekly's weekly round-up of local police calls–now with more nekkidness, racist graffiti, robber babies, loaded brownies and flaming bags of poo!
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MONDAY, AUG. 10

Giving New Meaning to Heat Comes Down on You
A security guard at the Coronado apartments at 1700 E. 16th St.,
Newport Beach, came upon a man carrying a 42-inch plasma TV out of an
apartment shortly after 2 a.m. This forced the would-be burglar back
into the unit, where he locked the door. Police arrived soon after to
find two men jumping off a second-story balcony and running off. A
police helicopter using a heat scanner later found the man suspected of
trying to carry the TV away. He was identified as Brian Patrick Havens,
33. His partner apparently fractured his leg in the balcony jump. He
was identified as Timothy Aubrey, 28. Police later arrested two others
in connection with the attempted burglary: Beau Aubrey, 18, of Santa Ana, and Saisha
Miranda, 29, of Huntington Beach. The unit's previous occupants had
moved out, and the TV belonged to a rental company, according to
police.

Shoulda Ordered the Veal Instead Sheriff's deputies
discovered a man in the 600 block of Avenida Victoria in San Clemente
just before 5 a.m. complaining of stomach pains. He'd allegedly chowed down on a brownie fortified with marijuana.

Spiffy Thieves
A woman returned to her home on Fulton Road in Irvine just after noon
Monday to discover a burglary in progress. One burglar was standing
lookout in her yard, while a second came out of her house carrying a
bag. Dressed for success in long-sleeve dress shirts, slacks and dress
shoes, the pair drove off in a white compact car. Taking inventory, the
victim discovered they had lifted between $10,000-$15,000 in jewelry.

Late
Night Rapist A 59-year-old woman was home alone on her couch watching
television in the 2200 block of East Briarvale Avenue, Anaheim, about
10:45 p.m. when a man wielding a knife and wearing a bandana to cover
his face came in from her open back door. He threatened to stab her
before raping her, at times putting a pillow over her face. He then
asked where her purse was, stole her cash and threatened to kill her if
she called police. He then fled out the back door. Anaheim Police
officers searched the area and developed clues that led them to arrest
Dexter Tagudin Villanueva, 44, at his Anaheim home. The District
Attorney's Office later filed six felony counts against Villanueva that
carry a maximum combined sentence of 91 years to life in state prison.
He was being held in lieu of $1 million bail.

TUESDAY, AUG. 11

One-Man
Wrecking Crew A blue Ford Mustang struck two parked cars at Pearl Drive
and Sapphire Road in Fullerton shortly after midnight. Police officers
arrived to find the unoccupied Mustang parked nearby. A passerby in the
3000 block of Pearl Drive reported he was robbed of his cell phone
around the same time. A different officer investigating that crime
heard the hit-and-run call on his radio, put two and two together and
launched a search of the area that turned up a man who was allegedly
hiding nearby. Edger Perez, 27, of Pomona, was arrested on suspicion of
robbery, DUI, hit-and-run and driving with a suspended license.

Pot
Shots Sheriff's deputies responded to an alarm at the Lake Forest
Alternative Center, a medical marijuana dispensary in the 22400 block
of Aspan Street, around 5 a.m. Shortly thereafter the alarm sounded at
a second medical marijuana dispensary less than a mile away. Like the
first, the Health and Wellness Center in the 23000 block of Lake Center
Drive, Lake Forest, had broken windows. It was unclear if anything (including a half-eaten brownie) was
taken.

White-Gloved Robbers Two men wearing white gloves and
hoods walked into Citibank at Kraemer Boulevard and Morse Avenue in
Placentia around 10 a.m. At least one man had a gun, possibly a 9 mm.
After demanding money, the pair split with an undisclosed amount of
cash. They were seen driving off in a white Toyota Camry that police
later recovered–without the bank robbers inside.

The Joker IS
Wild The Sheriff's Department received a call just before 11 a.m. from
Nicole Guymon, who said her husband had tried to commit suicide. This
would not have required a heavy response to Guymon's Lae Forest home
were it not for her hubby's identity. He's mixed martial arts fighter
Mike “Joker” Guymon, who holds the King of the Cage Welterweight
title and runs Joker's Wild Fighting Academy in town. The couple
apparently had a fight, the usually smiling Mike Guymon became
distraught and at one point he whipped out a gun, although his wife
managed to get it from him. He later drove off in his SUV, but deputies
pulled him over at a gas station parking lot near Lake Forest Drive and
Regency Lane. The 34-year-old refused to come out of his vehicle, which deputies
had surrounded. At the same time, Lt. Jim Amormino, who is a friend of
Guymon's and the Sheriff's Department spokesman, was speaking on the fighter's cell phone, telling him his family and friends
were worried and begging him to surrender. But Guymon allegedly told
Amormino he wanted the deputies to shoot him. When Amormino asked if
Guymon would come out for him, he agreed, saying he would
never hurt his friend. Guymon gave up without incident, was handcuffed
and taken to a Santa Ana psychiatric hospital for evaluation.
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WEDNESDAY, AUG. 12

Hey,
That's Clockwork's Branch! A man walked into the Wells Fargo branch on
Harbor Boulevard and Baker Street in Costa Mesa just after 10:15 a.m.,
handed a teller a note demanding money and left with some cash. No getaway vehicle was seen and only a
vague description of the robber was given. (And, no, he wasn't me! Why are you looking at me like that?)

Thieving Peter Pan Complex A man on a BMX bike tried to
take a purse from someone in the Tustin Parc complex in the 16200 block
of Main Street in Tustin some time before 5:30 p.m. But the would-be
snatcher failed. He was wearing dark shorts and a white shirt. He was
also described as being 30 to 40, which means he was much too old to be
riding a BMX bike.

THURSDAY, AUG. 13

On the Pipe Someone who rented a car in Los Angeles dropped it off
at John Wayne Airport but reported having heard a clanging noise from
the engine department. The car was taken to Vanguard Rent A Car at 4361
Birch St., Newport Beach, for inspection. Mechanics discovered a device
resembling a pipe bomb and called 9-1-1 around 11 a.m. The police
bomb squad responded but did not think the pipe was a explosive,
something their own robot device later confirmed. It was unclear why
anyone would stick the pipe in the engine compartment.

The
Adjustment He Needs is in Attitude A man walked into Blakemore
California Chiropractic, 159 N. Raymond Ave., Fullerton, shortly before
noon and pointed a blue-steel revolver at the receptionist. He then
demanded money and fled with an unknown amount. He was described as
white, unshaven, between 30 and 40, 6 feet, 180 pounds with blue eyes
and blond and gray shoulder-length hair. Refreshingly, no report of a BMX bike, though.

This is Why You Don't
Get Roommates Off Craigslist A woman who lives in the 16800 block of
Lynn Street in Huntington Beach called police at 12:26 p.m. to report
her roommate had put paint thinner in her shampoo and it burned her.

Am Told It Must've Been a Cold Afternoon A man decided to walk around without his
clothes on at the Alders apartment complex in the 15600 block of
Williams Street in Tustin. This proved most distressing to other
tenants, who called police around 12:30 p.m. Officers later confronted
the man and essentially asked, “Whassup?” Getting dressed, he allegedly
explained he'd been taking a piss. Cops took the piss out of 36-year-old Raymond
Albert Copas, arresting him on suspicion of indecent exposure.  

FRIDAY, AUG. 14

Topless-Bar
Pin Cushions Two men in their 20s were standing in the parking lot of the
topless California Girls bar at 815 S. Brookhurst St., Anaheim, around
2 a.m. when four men walked up, stabbed them, jumped into what was
possibly a Nissan and drove off. The victims–a 25-year-old man from
Stanton and a 22-year-old man from Santa Ana–did not even get a good
look at them, not that they were exactly that cooperative with police (to hear the police tell it). The pair was taken to UCI Medical Center for treatment of
non-life-threatening stab wounds.

Even the Dump Gets Hit Burglars broke the lock off the front gate of Olinda Alpha
Landfill, 1942 North Valencia Ave., Brea, in the early morning hours
before making off with tools, heavy-duty equipment and two county
vehicles–a 15-passenger van and F-350 pickup truck. All tolled the
haul was valued at more than $100,000. An employee arriving around 5
a.m. discovered the landfill had been hit and called police.

SATURDAY, AUG. 15

Ironically,
It Was Probably a Raiders Fan A caller told police around 8:30 a.m.
that someone removed four tickets to a San Francisco 49ers game from an
unlocked desk drawer at his business in the 19100 block of Beach
Boulevard in Huntington Beach. The passes were valued at more than $800. Of course, they would have been $2,400 if this was the Joe Montana era.

Sweet Dreams
Become Nightmare A man sleeping on a couch in the backyard of a
residence in the 200 block of South Derek Drive in Fullerton around
9:45 a.m. was struck in the face with a large wooden stick. The victim
was taken to UCI Medical Center, where he was listed in serious
condition. Meanwhile, a witness to the attack called police to say two
men had been drinking before one of the men struck the sleeping man.
That (and more, obviously) led police to railroad tracks near the 57 freeway, where they
arrested Arturo Valverde, age and residence unknown, on suspicion of
attempted murder.

Textbook Way to Avoid an (Alleged) Snatcher
A man driving a Lexus approached a 10-year-old girl who was tossing out
trash behind her apartment complex in the 9900 block of Broadway Street
in an unincorporated area of Anaheim around 3 p.m. He asked the girl if
she knew a certain female. The girl replied no and started to walk
away. But the man parked, got out and showed her a wad of cash, asking
if she wanted to money in exchange for getting inside. She instead
got on her scooter, rode home and told her father. Dad
went out to confront the Lexus driver, who sped away. But the father
did manage to get a partial license number that led deputies to lure
Alfredo Granados Canchola, 26, of Artesia, two days later to a spot in Santa Ana, where he was arrested on suspicion of attempted kidnapping. Held in lieu of $100,000 bail, Canchola was also suspected of other
alleged crimes in Orange and Riverside counties, including an open case
involving a 16-year-old girl in Irvine.

Trick or Treat,
Don't Smell His Feet A woman who resides on Fairlane Road in Laguna
Niguel called sheriff's deputies just before 10 p.m. to report that
someone had just left a flaming bag of poo on her door step, rang the
bell and left in an older white vehicle. Her husband valiantly tried to
extinguish the burning bag by stepping on it, but that just caused hot
poo to cover his shoe. Look for these and other prank victimizations in Clockwork's new book, Oh My God, I Can't Believe That Dude Didn't Know Not to Do That!

SUNDAY, AUG. 16

Is It Something in the San Clemente Water? An apparently drunken, possibly
naked man shouted profanities and yelled that he was going to kill
people, according to a call sheriff's deputies received at 2:40 a.m.
from El Camino Real and Avenida Aragon in San Clemente. Seven minutes
later, another caller said a naked man was outside the front door in
the 200 block of West Marquita in San Clemente. Deputies later arrived at a nearby apartment complex garage, where they found a stitchless Marine who was taken
to Camp Pendleton. Finally, at 11:30 a.m., deputies were contacted by
an innkeeper at the Motor Lodge in the 2200 block of South El Camino
Real about a naked man who refused to check out of his room When
deputies arrived, he was gone. But, hey, nice tip!

Manny, Moe and Baby Make Three
Minutes after a Pep Boys in Garden Grove was robbed by an armed pair, a
police officer spotted a vehicle matching the description of the one
driven by the criminals around 7 p.m. at Magnolia and Cerritos, which
is about a mile from the auto store. Besides two adults, the car was
occupied by the 7-month-old daughter of one of the suspects. Lashawn
Lilly-Freeman, 34, of Santa Monica, and Latoya Lilly, 23, of Carson,
were arrested on charges of commercial robbery, false imprisonment and
felony child endangerment. The baby was placed in protective custody.

MONDAY, AUG. 17

No
Way to Start a Monday Morning Toy Town owner Joshua Vecchione looked up
at the side wall of one of his fellow Mercantile West Shopping Center
tenants around 9 a.m. and discovered obscene and racist graffiti had
been painted on. Among the foot-tall black lettering on the side of
Ladera Cleaners was a racial slur directed at African Americans. The
property manager had white paint slapped up over the graffiti by noon.