Anaheim Monorail Push Has a Familiar Ring to It

NEWS ITEM: Anaheim is considering a monorail that runs not just through Disneyland but through Anaheim to the theme park.

INSTA-PUNDITRY FROM LYLE LANLEY: Well, sir, the Happiest Place on Earth . . .

Won't be alone is having
A genuine,

Bona fide,


20 to 40 passengers per car


What'd I say?
Vlad Guerrero: Que?

Lanley: What's it called?

Stacey Q+Gwen Stefani: Monorail!

Lanley: That's right! Monorail!

[crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]

Lucille Kring: I hear those things are awfully noisy . . . 

Lanley: Then pack your bags and move to Boise.

Harry Sidhu: Is there a chance GOP support could bend?

Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

Arte Moreno: What about trips to my stadium?

Lanley: We'll swing by there and Hollywood Palladium.

Bill Fitzgerald: Were you sent here by the OCTA?

Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on a-OK.

Chief Welter: The ring came off my pudding can.

Lanley: Then bust more Mexicans, my good man.

I swear it's Anaheim's only choice…

Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

All: Monorail!

Lanley: What's it called?

All: Monorail!

Lanley: Once again…

All: Monorail!

Lorri Galloway: But Ball Road's still all cracked and broken…

Tom Wood: Sorry, ma'am, the mob has spoken!

All: Monorail!



[big finish]


Curt Pringle: Mono . . . Doh!

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