First, came The Unabomber.
Next came The Unabauer.
Now, for your listening and victimhood pleasure, comes The Unarobber.
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The Unabomber is Theodore “Ted” Kaczynski, the mathematician who
converted from addition to subtraction with his campaign to send 16
bombs to various targets, including airlines and universities, from
1978 to 1995. He killed three and injured 23. He got the nickname after the FBI referred to the then-unknown suspect's case as “UNABOM” (for “UNiversity and Airline BOMber”).
The Unabauer is Roy Bauer, the Irvine Valley College philosophy professor whose Dissent the Blog
is a must read for anyone interested in the mayhem wrought by South
Orange County Community College District trustees and administrators.
(Time trip here for more.) Bauer didn't get his nickname from the FBI, he just happened to be generating heat while the Unabomber was still fresh in everyone's mind. He wouldn't hurt a flea–honest!
The Unarobber is a 5 foot 9 white guy in his 30s who weights 180 lbs. and has short dark hair, a moustache and goatee and some kind of tattoo on the
left side of his neck. An armed bank robber, the FBI gave him the nickname because he wears a hoodie and shades–just like the Unabomber.
(It should be noted here that it is within the realm of possibility that Bauer does not even own a hoodie.)
At around 10:45 a.m. Saturday–while the Unabomber was rotting in jail and the Unabauer was likely creating one of his amazingly hilarious photo illustration mash-ups–the Unarobber walked into the Wells Fargo on Alicia Parkway in Laguna Niguel.
He placed a backpack on the counter, pointed a semiautomatic handgun at a
pregnant teller and threatened to kill her and her baby if she did not
hand over the loot, according to sheriff's deputies.
Wells Fargo Bank has since put up a $10,000 reward for the arrest and conviction of the Unarobber.
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.