Michael Kevin Lallana, the Fullerton family man, semen bottler for unknowing co-worker and OC Scariest Person of 2010, is reportedly off to jail. (FINALLY!) Orange County Superior Court Judge Walter Schwarm, who handed the 33-year-old his original 180-day jail sentence for two misdemeanor battery counts in 2011, is reported to have denied the defense's home detention request today. Lallana, who has served only one day behind bars, was immediately carted off.
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The Orange County Register gets the scoop.
Lallana had also previously lost the appeal of his conviction for twice putting his splooge in the water bottle of a pretty co-worker at the mortgage company where they worked. His attorney had tried to argue the jury's guilty verdict for battery was unjust because that would connote action, such as striking someone physically. The prosecutor countered that the USC grad secretly leaving his man juices in bottles and getting off on the idea of her chug-a-lugging still constituted battery.
Click here for shits and giggles over our previous Lallana coverage
A three-judge appeals panel agreed with the jury.
Lallana, who leaves a wife and daughter for the pokey, finished No. 3 on our 2010 list of Orange County's Scariest People, so he'll have bragging rights among his fellow inmates (who'd be wise to drink directly out of water faucets for the next 179 days).
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OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.
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