The latest installment of Assault With a Deadly Condiment comes from Massachusetts, where a college student is facing criminal charges for attacking his girlfriend with a pair of jeans covered in wasabi sauce. His reason for the spicy throwdown? “Some guy she slept with in school was texting her.” But of course.
According to The Smoking Gun, 22-year-old John McGuinness's girlfriend was driving him back home from a bar when the woman got the text. An argument erupted.
After the woman dropped McGuinness off, she received a text from him stating that “he had my $200 pair of jeans and he was throwing them outside,” according to a police report. The 21-year-old woman circled back to McGuinness's home, when he “came out to the driveway with my jeans covered in wasabi sauce.” She told cops that he then grabbed the jeans by the waist and “whipped me in the face with them. I got wasabi sauce in my eyes and they were burning and I couldn't see.”
When cops arrived, the victim had “visible red marks on her neck area” and her right eye was “red and swollen.”
In the police car, McGuinness admitted, “I did put the wasabi sauce on her jeans but she has done worse to my car in the past.” He was charged with three misdemeanors, including assault and battery “by dangerous weapon/sauce.”
Keep this guy away from the Tapatío.
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