Don't know if you caught last Saturday's LA Times story on millionaire Richard Moriarty bolting a Lamborghini he paid $60,000 for 10 years ago to the wall of his $2 million, Newport Beach oceanfront estate. If Moriarty does, as he threatened to near the end of the article and have tire tread marks painted on his wall, betcha he'll have plenty of visitors who'll think Bo Stefan Eriksson drove it up there. But as Your Favorite Black Power-Fisted It's Time-piece was reading the Moriarty piece, we felt suddenly inhabitated by that great soul brother, Gil-Scott Heron. The theme to “Whiteys on the Moon” began playing in our head, and next thing you know . . .
LAMBORGHINI ON THE WALL
By Gil-Scott Clockwork
A rat done bit my sister Nell with Moriarty's Lamborghini on the wall.
Her face and arms began to swell and Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
I can't pay no doctor bills because I'm one of the million and millions of Americans with no health insurance but Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
Ten years from now I'll be payin' still while Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
The man just upped my rent last night cuz Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
No hot water, no toilets, no lights but Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
I wonder why he's uppin me. Cuz Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall?
I was already givin' him 300 a week but now Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
No tax cuts for me on my whole damn check,
The crackheads makin' me a nervous wreck,
The price of oil is goin' up,
And as if all that Shite wasn't enough:
A rat done bit my sister Nell with Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
Her face and arms began to swell but Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
Was all that money the Bushies been given him for Moriarty's Lamborghini on the wall?
How come there ain't no money here for me? Hmm! Moriarty's Lamborghini's on the wall.
Ya know, I just about had my fill of Moriarty's Lamborghini on the wall.
I think I'll email these cancellation notices
urgent priority!!! ….
to Moriarty's Lamborghini on the wall.
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.