Kevin & Bean's April Foolishness – Shrine Auditorium – April 5, 2014

Kevin & Bean's April Foolishness
Shrine Auditorium

On Saturday, Kevin and Bean's April Foolishness brought a cavalcade of badass comics to the Shrine Auditorium, including Jim Jefferies, Patton Oswalt, Tim Minchin and more.
When you have an all-star comedy line-up, a ton of alcohol consuming fans, and attach a couple of super causes to it, you're sure to have nothing short of spectacular. DJ/VJ Mike Relm was on wax and video duty and once again, he killed it. Mad skills Mike. Mad. Fucking. Skills. After a hysterical video intro from Jimmy Kimmel, Kevin and Bean hit the stage and the wild crowd became even louder cheering the boys on as they thanked everyone for coming out. They shouted out the comics that would be entertaining us all and let us know that proceeds from the night would be benefiting Fisher House (that provides homes for VA's) and Cedars-Sinai NICU. Laughing is great but when you pair laughing and a charitable cause together, you have even more to be grateful for. And let it be known, everyone sure did seem grateful for the night ahead.


Patton Oswalt was first up and immediately thanked all of the “charitable drunks” and compared the audience to a “sea of winos.” He was spot on too, everyone was pretty sauced. His set was amazing with stories about his daughter Alice, visiting his folks and how he loves them with “benefits,” losing three pounds and attempting to not be shamed by wanting John Varvatos pants although they are made for “heroin addicts who eat one rice cake a year,” and how “swabbed my folds” would be a great name for obese porn. (You had to be there on that last one I'm sure.) He also mentioned that he saw the movie Frozen five times in the theatre and then broke into that annoying song from the movie, “Let it Go.” I swear to you, Patton knew every god damn word and when he started skipping around the stage while belting it out, the crowd went insane.

KROQ's Lisa May (who looked better than ever) came out to introduce last minute addition (in lieu of Marc Maron) Reggie Watts and he came out with high energy head banging that giant fro of his all around. Screams of, “Awwww yeah, Reggie!” were shouted out solidifying that KROQ made the correct choice with the replacement act. While Reggie is a master with his vocals via beat boxing, his comedy is more of an intellectual mind fuck. Unfortunately, his set may have fallen a little short on some of the unruly crowd members that clearly weren't in the mood for doing any actual thinking. A few “hecklers” shouted out but since Reggie is the man, he shut them down with ease as the rest of the eager crowd cheered with delight. My personal hope is that Reggie does in fact do this show again because there were plenty of fans (including myself) that were all in and loved every minute of him gracing the stage with his presence.

The incomparable Mr. Ralph Garman came out to an explosion of cheers and brought Taylor Williamson to the stage who was making his April Foolishness debut. He was well received by the crowd looking dapper in a suit with tie mentioning, “I may be a little overdressed. Everyone is dressed like they live on skid row and I'm dressed like Peewee Herman.” He went into a set that would have never flown on “America's Got Talent” but that included his hate for the Japanese (Calm down people, it's only because he lost to one on AGT), what it's like to be a loser on a reality show, and how he's half Jewish but that he is in fact circumcised because “he's classy.” He ended his set with a few “impressions” (and I use the term “impressions” loosely) and was given a standing ovation by more than several people. Taylor may have come in second place on AGT but to this crowd, he deserved a first place win because he seriously killed it! Well done rookie!

Following Williamson, Jim Jefferies came out and the people in the Shrine went absolutely ape shit. I mean, Jefferies pretty much got a standing ovation just walking out! Now that Jefferies is the father of a little boy named Hank, his set ranged from how he hopes it not illegal that his son slapped his cock (because he laughed and told everyone), how he doesn't want a father's day gift because it's bought with his own money, and how having a dog is more stress-free than having a baby because if the dog dies while your girlfriend is at work, it's a lot easier to replace it without them knowing. He also mentioned that there should be a holiday called “Anal Sex Day” because if women have Valentines Day, men should have that. Hilarious.

Adam Carolla was fifth up and immediately thanked Mike Relm for, “playing that awesome music that I fucking hate.” Classic. Speaking of classic, he reminisced on how it was to the day, the 20th anniversary of the first time he was ever on KROQ with Kevin and Bean. Pretty awesome. In between name dropping (a lot), Carolla told the fans an epic story of how he accompanied Natalie Maines (of the Dixie Chicks) to the Grammys at the Shrine. He went to say that afterwards, Jimmy Kimmel played a prank on him by sending him a slew of deliveries from “Natalie” to thank him for going to the Grammys with her….which lead him to call her and tell her how he had a girlfriend and that he wasn't interested in her advances. She of course had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. Awkward! Adam is a master of storytelling and he once again proved it to us all this evening.

Lisa May, Chip (hayyyy girl!!), and Christine from KROQ came out to intro Doug Benson while Mike Relm queued the appropriate song choice, “I Got Five on It.” The stoners went crazy as did the rest of the venue and one bold person yelled out, “You holding?” Doug's reply while his eyes stayed at half-mast. “That's a good one.” Doug is a real crowd pleaser and last year he mentioned that he was, “on a scale from 1 to 7.4, high as a 7.4.” Coincidently, this year he said he was also a 7.4 which just goes to prove that this man is a complete professional. Mad props.

Benson is stellar at crowd work and this time around, he didn't let us down by riffing about how he hoped the balcony would fall on the crowd below and smash them all (he's only kidding of course, “he's a comedian”), yelling at people to settle down, roasting the other comics. He even picked on Mike Relm by saying, “he was fake laughing all night, especially at Patton singing that Frozen song.” He later gave a proverbial “high five” to Patton agreeing with him that “the drunks in the close rows suck” and mentioned that it was a “nut festival” due to all of the people in the front wearing shorts. Such a skillful set from an unbelievably high comic. How he keeps it together the world may never know but, it is absurdly enjoyable to watch him do it that's for sure!

After the return of KROQ favorite Ralph Garman, a shoeless Tim Minchin hit the stage. He started off with a poem called “Angry” that he wrote because his therapist suggested it and to be clear, he catches a case of full on Tourette's during it. Seriously brilliant. His facial expressions made everything come together and for the people who weren't familiar with this man before, they certainly became captivated by his every word. Minchin dazzled the scene by taking to his piano (YESSS!!!) and crooned a song about his wife and also a “love song” that included some ideas of what you'd do “if you really loved him like you say you do.” You know, like videoing yourself peeing while standing up, letting him wear your underwear, purchasing forty cockatoos and teaching them to fly so they could shit the words “Tim is God” on his ex-girlfriends Hyundai, and sticking a finger up his bum because he heard it's surprisingly fun. Hey, we're not here to judge. OK we sort of are judging so we'll just leave it at, Minchin is fantastic. And that judgment was not overruled by the fans.

Kevin and Bean returned to thank everyone once again and to bring out Eddie Ifft to cap off the long night of epic joke slinging. Yeah the audience was boisterous pretty much all night and with the drunkards tired but still in party mode, Ifft slayed the viewers with his no holds barred comedy. Holy shit there is no topic that will be left unturned when Eddie hits the stage and while he mentioned that he wasn't originally supposed to headline, everyone (and I do mean everyone) was happy that he did. The response to the words that came out of his mouth was overwhelming. He threatened the disorderly people by telling them to “shut the fuck up or I'll come up there and pistol whip you with my cock,” bagged on his own last name saying that “Ifft” sounds like a slow leaking fart, and brought up that he loves to use the word “faggot” often to “take the power out of the word.”

Of course he also mentioned that he doesn't use the “N” word because he isn't scared of gays. (At that point a literal tear shot out of my eye because I laughed so hard.) He threw in an awesome Kobe rape joke, waxed poetic on a recent trip to India and how all of the adventures he had ended in diarrhea, how he handles “after sex crying,” and gave a shout out to Brad Williams (who was sorely missed from the line-up this year) before leaving the stage. If four words could explain his presence it would be, “Eddie Ifft is magnificent.”

Insert uproarious applause and the show was over.

Critic's Bias: With this being the first year that April Foolishness was held at the Shrine, I was worried about how it would all go down. That being said, it went off without a hitch. If I may add a tip (I'm doing it anyway so you really have no choice), pay the extra money for the VIP tickets. The Shrine had an AWESOME “VIP party area” with minimal lines to private bars and a full on spread of free food that was delicious. Also, a lot of the KROQ crew and comics were back there rubbing elbows with us “common folk” which gave everyone a chance to gush about what big fans they are and take photos.

The Crowd: These people were a perfect mix of young and old, dressed up and dressed down and as always, they were ready to party. Also, almost everyone was talking “selfie” upon “selfie.”Enough already! While they were about 90% well behaved I will say this, the other 10% of the audience was pretty fucking despicable. Now I might be somewhat of a comedy snob BUT, yelling out “you suck” or “get the fuck off the stage” is super disrespectful and ruins it for the rest of the people at the show. OK. I guess this is more of a PSA but really folks who just have to yell out, YOU shut the fuck up.

Overheard in the Crowd:
“The crowd was electric tonight at the Shrine!”
“First I had to wait in line to get in and now I have to wait in line for the bathroom? Mother fucker!”
“Holy shit Eddie Ifft is so funny! OPRAH'S NIPPLE!!”

Random notebook dump: I swear the couple sitting next to me laughed harder and louder than a ton of people in the building. At times it literally shook my chair because they were so involved in cracking up. Now, it could've been all of that booze they were pounding (and I noticed a TON of booze being pounded) but, I'm pretty sure the comics had a little more to do with it. Props to the chick too for asking me if her perfume stunk also after she paid $1 for a spritz from the bathroom attendant. Heads up girl, it did. Kidding…kinda.

Patton Oswalt
Reggie Watts
Taylor Williamson
Jim Jefferies
Adam Carolla
Doug Benson
Tim Minchin
Eddie Ifft

See also
10 Punk Albums to Listen to Before You Die
10 Goriest Album Covers
10 Most Satanic Metal Bands

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