A 33-year-old songwriter who has spent more than $100,000 on surgeries to look just like Justin Bieber was–and here is the real news–turned down for more procedures by a famous Newport Beach plastic surgeon. (Honestly, walking around Lido Village and seeing over-inflated ladies with Joker smiles had me convinced cutters in town turned no one down.) But while we agree with the decision of Dr. Terry Dubrow, husband of Real Housewives of Orange County cast member Heather Dubrow, our take is based on economics, not medicine. Lissen up, Toby "True Belieber" Sheldon: You can still look just like your Canadian idol for the low, low price of $5.87.
Sheldon, who is based in Los Angeles, appeared on Sunday's Botched, the E! channel reality show that follows Drs. Dubrow and Paul Nassif (Adrienne Maloof's ex). Having already received new lips, hair transplants and liposuction to ape the Bieb's six-pack, Sheldon went to Dubrow seeking a jaw and forehead reduction. To accomplish that, the good doctor explained, Sheldon would have to endure looking like a Neanderthal. Dubrow suggested a hat instead.
However, at about the 1:20 mark of the video below, you may wonder as I did whether Doc Terry can perform some kind of surgical magic on Toby's vocal cords:
As for looking like–what'd he call him, oh yes–"just … extraordinarily beautiful" Justin, we suggest you go to your neighborhood drug store, plop $5.87 or thereabouts on the counter for douche and tape the bottle over your face.
Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the paper’s first calendar editor. He went on to be managing editor, executive editor and is now senior staff writer.