Jim Breuer Wishes He Was Still 10-Years-Old

Comedy fans should prepare to gather up the crew (yes you can even bring your parents but only if they’re cool, k thanks) because Jim Breuer is coming back to the O.C. for one night only, you lucky MFers. This Wednesday, July 19th, Breuer’s hitting the stage at the Irvine Improv to unleash some (a lot of) hilarity and stories fueled with a fire that only he can bring. It’s a gift. A great, great, GREAT gift. Before you grab your tickets and he hits you with the ha-ha’s, we hit him with some random questions.

OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): I read about a “one man show” that you did in New York. Is that what you’ll be doing in Irvine or will it be straight stand-up?

Jim Breuer: It’s straight stand-up but I started this tour last week and it was mostly stand-up but then the other night in San Jose, I found myself doing a little bit more of telling stories I’ve never told before. They’re super riveting and extremely funny but right now, I’m going to say it’s mostly stand-up. I might be sneaking in and exploring with other keeper stories though. And of course it’s going to funny. I mean, people paid to laugh not to be inspired and motivated.

Well you’re one of the greatest storytellers in my book so I’m sure either way it’ll be amazing.

Well thank you and I gotta tell you, I’m super excited about the one man show. I’m pretty hopped up about it right now so I’m hoping this will launch before the year is over. I really can’t wait for everyone to see it.

Soooo…since we’ve done a bunch of press together over the years I thought this time we could make it a bit more irregular so let’s get to it. If you could sit next to any celeb on an international flight, who would it be? Wow! That’s a good one! I want to go with someone that would know super secrets but, hmmm, I’ll go with Paul McCartney.

What if Paul was super into having a convo with you? What would you ask him first? I would ask him what he thinks about the world and what direction it’s going. And I’d ask him what he has seen in his lifetime that’s changed his life.

Oh that’s a good one! What have you seen in your lifetime that has changed your life? Honestly, nothing on the show business side, it was much more of the deeper moments in life. Whether it was a moment that my daughter gave me or a moment my wife and I conquered, holding my father to his last breath, those are much more defining life changing moments than, hey I just sold out! Here’s my brand new special! Isn’t it great?

I like that. I know that you try not to curse on stage anymore but, what is your favorite curse word? Oh f-bomb! When I’m really going at it I drop the f-bomb a lot! I’m also very politically incorrect when it comes to using certain words and it really drives me nuts because they’re all different terms now. People get so sensitive now. But when I’m really angry, I’ll drop a couple words. Thank god people know me though so they’re not all, oh my god he’s this phobic and that phobic. [Laughs.] No. It’s not what you want to define it as.

Yeah the world is batshit. I hate that it was fine to say certain words back in the day and if you use them now, you’re a monster. Like retard. Everything is retarded and I’m not talking special needs. Yes!! That’s exactly one of the words I’m talking about! I’ve been so angry and yelled out, are you retarded? Or, god, that’s so retarded! Now they have rallies and conversations about what you should say. Please.

The best thing about rallies to me is that they’re marching against something “offensive” while carrying signs that are offensive. [Laughs.] Exactly. It’s really all so stupid.

Preach. What’s your favorite Halloween costume that you’ve worn? Oh Batman! Oh god! I WAS Batman! I was too fat to get in the outfit too so it was great. [Laughs.] It was all ripped in the thighs and on the sides because of my love handles, my mask was all sweaty because my face was fat, oh man it was great. I thought I was Batman.

Please dig up pictures immediately. Do you ever Google yourself? Once in a very blue moon and the only reason I’ll do it is because I want to see how the public is portraying me. I think that was a moment, going back to before, which changed my life. I was out on a “dad’s night” like, eleven years ago and this women comes up to me and was like, aren’t you this famous guy? I was like, nah, I mostly tour and do stand-up comedy. Then she goes, you’re really blue and that’s why I can’t see you. You talk about drugs and partying and stuff like that. I was like, have you ever seen me? I was pissed, however, that moment changed my life right there. While I was mad at her the other part of me was like, who else thinks that way and why do they think that way? Who’s putting that image out there? It’s the internet or TV and at that moment I was like, I’m never going to let what the public thinks of me control me. So, I’ll Google to see what people are saying about me or see what they think they know about me and make sure it doesn’t get too far in the wrong direction.

Got it. When it comes to jokes, is there anything that is not funny to you? Ummm… rape. It’s not that I cringe but, well, I used to do a thing, which is a true story, with Will Farrell and Tracy Morgan back on SNL. Will would be in costume and stay in character for hours. One of these characters would just degrade me, Tracy, and Colin Quinn. We then went into character as thugs and we took his character, which was this over the top flamboyant artist, and we dragged him out of the office repeatedly and would do fake horrible things to him. [Laughs.] It was very funny. We did it like three times over the night and everyone got in on it. I told that story on stage a couple of times and then I had a woman come up to me, and she didn’t lecture me but, I could tell by the trauma in her eyes that just that word disturbed her. It was that moment I was like, even though we didn’t really do that and it was fake, if I traumatized this one woman at my show with that, it’s not worth for me to do it. I started thinking about how horrifying and dark that is and you know, there are plenty of other areas to find funny.

Truth. If you could go back to any age, where are you going? I just thought of this yesterday! I’d go to 10-years-old. It’s so weird that I just thought of this because the hotel I’m at has a pool and yesterday I was just watching these kids thinking, oh my god to be that age! I watched one kid play with a tube in the water for three hours. He just entertained himself for three hours with a tube! It made me realize what an amazing time that was in life when you didn’t have to worry about anything but seizing the day. That is for sure the age I’d go back to.

Ah so true. I wanted to grow up so fast but now, I miss the freedom. Alrighty, last thing. Who’s playing you in the “Life of Jim Breuer” movie? I think Matt Damon. When I saw Matt Damon in “Good Will Hunting” it reminded me of me. Not so much the smart part of him but that Boston North East kind of living. And, I think he’s a great actor. Now the younger version, I gotta think about that one. I don’t know. [Laughs.]

Grab your tickets now to see Jim Breuer at the Irvine Improv Wednesday July 19th, 31 Fortune Drive Irvine, CA 92618, (949) 854-5455. For tickets go to www.Improv.com. For more on Jim, head over to his website OfficialJimBreuer.com, become a fan on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter @JimBreuer.

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