Orange County has its very own set of Barbie dolls–and for once, we're not talking about the Real Housewives. An e-mail showed up in our inbox that was too chuckle-worthy not to share. [Note: Seriously, we have no idea who to blame/credit for this. It appears to be a chain e-mail that's just making the rounds.] Gotta admire the attention to detail in these figurines: Anaheim/Buena Park Barbie comes complete with a meth lab kit, Trabuco Canyon Barbie can spit more than five feet and Laguna Beach Barbie is made of actual tofu.
Hey, what about a Little Saigon or Little Arabia Barbie? Guess we'll have to wait for Barbie's set of “ethnic friends.”
See the dolls after the jump.
Mission Viejo Barbie
“The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.”
Anaheim/Buena Park Barbie
“This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) .unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.”
Newport Coast Barbie
“This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.”[
Trabuco Canyon Barbie
"This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.”
Fountain Valley Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Trabuco Canyon Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
Laguna Beach Barbie
"This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. These barbies love to hang out with included protest banners on Arrow and Indian Hill.”
Santa Ana Barbie
"This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.”