Instant Weekend: The Easiest Tequila Drink Ever

It's almost the weekend. It's almost a long weekend for many people. Time to bust out the liquor and celebrate!

No, damn it, don't make another margarita. Time to learn to drink tequila mixed drinks the Mexican way.

Not that the margarita is inauthentic–it's real, it's Mexican, it's very popular–but it has a sour flavor profile that doesn't make American drinkers very happy, which means those neon green slushy drinks that well-meaning but clueless American bartenders have been perpetrating on us for decades are about as authentic as Taco Bell's Bell Beefer Supreme.

No, what's needed is a drink so simple to make that even the bartenders
at T.G.I. Friday's couldn't fuck it up, an elixir so easy that
you could make it blind drunk–which is exactly what you will be after a
few of these.

The paloma, Spanish for “dove,” is typically tequila, grapefruit
juice, lime juice and soda water, but the real recipe, the one you'll
get when you order a paloma south of San Ysidro, is tequila and
grapefruit soda. Squirt is the easiest grapefruit soda to get your hands
on, but Jarritos Toronja makes a better drink.

In a tall glass full of ice, put in a big shot of tequila. Silver is the best choice, but if all you have is reposado (aged), go for it. (Don't waste the good bottle of añejo on this.) Pour grapefruit soda
to the top. Squeeze a lime wedge into it if you want. Drink it. Make
another. Drink it, too. Easier even than the “traditional” shot with lime
and salt.

Es el fin de semana, cuate: ¡pásatelo bien!

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