Grandmother Assaults Nine-Year-Old Grandson for Eating Too Much Bacon

Final proof that the bacon phenomenon has finally jumped the shark: you have family members assaulting each other because one ate more bacon than anyone else. Scratch that: you have GRANDMOTHERS assaulting GRANDSONS for eating too much bacon.

Of course, this could only happen in Pennsylvania.

That wonderful repository of crime weird and heinous, The Smoking Gun, got the story and the subsequent police report. Seems one Marilee Ann Kolynych was enraged that her grandson ate more bacon than anyone else and chased him outside before catching him. At that point, she sat on top of him, began beating his legs, got a hose, and put it on full blast on his face.

Did we mention Kolynych's grandson is nine years young?

The granny was arrested for “endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges,” according to the Smoking Gun. She's free on bail pending a  hearing.

I've heard of riots over tacos, but this is just ridiculous…

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