As legal cannabis becomes more common and easily accessible to adults the general public will have to get used to seeing it more and more in everyday situations. Granted, we are far from seeing Amsterdam style coffee shops in Irvine and dispensaries around Southern California come and go quicker than the ten second read through you’re probably attempting during with this article.
I recently met with Josh, the Director of Business Development for GhostVapes. A company that specializes in a portable vaporizer built to medical grade standards to ensure the highest quality experience even when you’re on the go. Their lastest product, the MV1 is basically the Bentley of vaporizers, resembling something from a Batman film more than anything you’d use to get faded. After a brief tutorial provided by their website I found myself bringing their stealthy technology with me everywhere. It was around the time I found myself sneaking a toke in the men’s bathroom at the Home Town Buffet that I realized something, without the classic cloud of smoke giving away my hazy position immediately I was free to get as lifted as I wanted, and not even Johnny Law would be able to stop me. Could this stylish hunk of steel be the future for a healthier high?
To backup my theory I needed to test it in the wild. Usually I save going outside for special occasions like drinking and buying expensive shoes but like our former President once said, “It’s time to put childish things aside”, which meant that like Obama, I needed to forge my own path and get to experimenting!
I headed over to Blüm in Santa Ana to gawk at their impressive selection of product and gathered all my necessary tools, then over the next few weeks I attempted to test the waters by using my new MV1 as well as burning the flowers our good lord gave us everywhere I went to see if I could blend in with the “normies” while puffing the kind buds. The following events are true, at least they’re as true as I can remember because my handwriting is terrible and I nearly smoked myself into a coma writing this for you.
Probably the most reasonable place for me to start would be at a Skate park. Cannabis culture and skating have gone hand in hand and has never been viewed with the same negative connotations other groups associate it to. I found myself there with a group of friends on a warm weekday afternoon and decided to light up a joint after a lengthy battle against a ledge.
The Gorilla Glue was the perfect strain for unwinding while basking in the sunlight and everything seemed to be cool. That is until the local middle school let out and the park went from a serene setting to the clusterfuck that is “skate park babysitting.” Parents too busy working to make ends meet in Orange County allow their obnoxious, booger stained offspring to flood the parks after school as some sort of free daycare. I’m all for smoking but these kids are impressionable and I can’t risk them seeing someone like me who’s obviously cool as hell showing them that if you follow your heart and work as little as possible you too can achieve your dreams. So I switched to the MV1 and let science happen. Their technology is perfect for a quick toke without raising suspicion and if any children ask I’ll just tell them it’s tobacco, that’s legal everywhere and you don’t even have to say that your back hurts.
Raw Gardens Live Resin boasts a full spectrum of terpene fueled flavor and the MV1 is ideal for displaying each one. Blüm carries new flavors each week and I plan on trying them all with my new medical device.
Skate park smoke score:
I’ve always perceived surfers as clean cut suburban kids in really high shorts. Probably because of the Beach Boys but that all changed when I saw Point Break. The movie that destroyed Hollywood’s clean cut version of “Surfin’ USA” and showed us that you had to be as tough as any member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers to even think about surfing Waimea. Orange County is far from the Venice boardwalk that welcomes everything from easy to get Cannabis recommendations to middle aged men in thongs rollerblading at intensely high speeds so I was a bit apprehensive to smoke around people from Iowa on their version spring break.
I grabbed my lighter and a THClear Blunted wrap and began wading out passed the shore break and into international waters where my crimes would go unpunished. Growing up in the High Desert gave me few advantages and swimming skills was definitely one of them, I struggled to tread water while keeping my blunt as dry as possible. The ocean is a salty mistress and after a few minutes I surrendered into her icy grasp like Leo sliding off that debris. Although I failed to reach my inner David Hasslehoff I still felt a cool buzz after staggering back ashore.
Beach smoke score:
It felt like I was choosing too many easy places with little to no risk. I had to really start trying to test the waters so I decided to raise the risk factor.
When I’m not tirelessly working to bring you guys articles I make ends meet by shaking drinks in a few different bars. You’d think that a setting where people meet to get drunk, hookup, or do illegal drugs (or all three) would turn a blind eye to something as harmless as cannabis but you can never be too sure. I waited until around 1am and excused myself, grabbed a Canndescent pre-roll, and made my way to the patio area occupied by a few couples and a group of friends out for the night.
I asked the loudest of the group for a lighter and lit up some of Northern California’s finest flowers. To absolutely no ones surprise I soon became the coolest kid in Coolsville, a fake place where I’m fictitiously from. After passing it around and learning everyone’s name I concluded two things.
- Alcohol helps people lower their inhibitions. Duh.
- Dont let drunk people touch your MV1
The problem with toking at work is responsibility and I wanted nothing to do with it. I counted my drawer several times and concluded that math is difficult when it’s 3am and you can smell the mexican food from next door beckoning you to it’s greasy doors.
Work smoke score:
Everyone smokes weed at concerts. It’s generally acceptable as long as you don’t show off and maybe let the people around you partake after you’ve had your fill. But some places are still adamantly against anyone bringing the “Devils lettuce” into their venue. I found myself at the Hollywood Bowl to see a band perform recently and signs discouraging concertgoers from smoking were posted every five feet. Security guards roamed the aisles searching for any wrongdoing and seemed to have a sixth sense on who to single out. I grabbed a joint soaked in concentrates and filled to the brim with lava rocks and headed toward the bathrooms. After searching for what felt like hours I ducked into a gap between some hedges in an attempt to become invisible. The smoke from the keif soaked buds was a thing of beauty but inevitably led to my downfall as an eagle eyed usher greeted me with a look of disappointment usually reserved for my mother during Christmas after showing up without a significant other year after year. After apologizing and surrendering my pipe I promised to be a good boy and returned to my seat. Dejected I let the rest of the concert breeze by while eating my $13 dollar nachos. There are only a few mistakes I absolutely regret and not bringing my MV1 to that concert is somewhere near the top of the list. I could have been higher than Willie Nelson but instead I felt lower than my credit score after some idiot gave me a Visa.
Hollywood Bowl smoke score:
After several weeks of careful experimenting I have to say that the results are still inconclusive. Californians might not be ready for everyday public use of cannabis but as long as there’s smoke, there will always be a guy nestled between two bushes firing up some cannabis. To pick up your own GhostVapes MV1 or any of the products mentioned in this article you can head over to Blüm, located in Santa Ana. If you need me I will be taking a well deserved nap.
Jefferson Matthew VanBilliard is a leo that enjoys all things cannabis and is just trying his best. He let us know that although the desert will always be his home you can find him on Fourth St. in Santa Ana battle rapping teenagers or at the local high school where he coaches girls varsity volleyball without anyone’s permission.