Fullerton Man Accused of Jerking Off in Female Co-Worker's Water Bottle. Twice

UPDATE: Booking photo of and more information on the suspect (see end of post) . . .

And you thought the Mad Men were degrading to female office workers.

A mortgage company employee was arrested today for allegedly jerking off into a female co-worker's water bottle, sickening her.


Four months apart!


Michael Kevin
, 31, of Fullerton, is charged with two misdemeanor counts each of
releasing an offensive material in a public place and assault, with
sentencing allegations for committing a crime for sexual gratification.

Lallana could get anywhere from three months to three years behind bars and have to register as a sex offender if convicted

According to a statement from the Orange County District Attorney:

  • In 2005, Lallana is accused of meeting a co-worker, in her twenties,
    Jane Doe, while working at Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company in
    Newport Beach. On Jan. 14, 2010, Lallana is accused of assaulting Jane
    Doe by entering the victim's office and depositing his ejaculation into a
    water bottle that was on her desk. The defendant is accused of leaving
    the semen-filled water bottle on the victim's desk which Jane Doe later
    drank upon returning to her office. The victim, unaware of the bottle's
    contents, drank the water the contaminated water. She threw it away
    after feeling sickened and irritated.

  • Approximately three months later, Jane Doe and six other employees,
    including the defendant, were transferred to the Northwestern Mutual
    Mortgage Company's Orange branch. On April 9, 2010, Lallana is accused
    of assaulting Jane Doe by depositing his ejaculation into a water bottle
    that the victim left on her desk. The defendant is accused of leaving
    the contaminated bottle on Jane Doe's desk and returning to his office.
    The victim later returned to her office and drank from the semen-filled
    water bottle. She was sickened and irritated. She sent it to a private
    lab to be tested. 

  • In June 2010, Jane Doe was contacted by the private lab who confirmed
    that the water bottle contained semen. The victim reported the incidents
    to the Orange Police Department (OPD). In early July, following further
    investigation by the OPD and Orange County Crime Lab, the defendant was
    linked through DNA to the crimes.

Lallana was arrested outside his Fullerton home by Orange cops this morning. The OCDA sought bail of
$10,000, and Lallana was released on a $500 bond.

He is scheduled to be
arraigned Sept. 14 in Santa Ana.

(Note to any court reporters who'll be attending: Fill up your own water bottles and don't take your eyes off of them.)

UPDATE: The Weekly's intrepid intern, Kevin Short, dug up the following:

Michael Lallana has been a Financial Representative with the Northwestern Mutual Financial Network since 2003. He is a graduate of the University of Southern California with a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration. With a prior career in management consulting, he transitioned to join NMFN because there is tremendous value in a very important but often overlooked area of financial services. He relishes developing personal relationships and directly impacting the lives of his family, friends and people in his community. Michael now serves as a Field Director for The Waltos Group in Orange, CA.

Michael spends most of his free time with his family and friends. Michael and his wife, Emma, have been married for 4 years and can be seen chasing around their 1 ½ year old toddler, Erica, on the weekends.

So that's how one develops personal relationships directly impacting people.

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