Apparently this is a thing now: bacon condoms.
J&D's Foods, the company also previously responsible for Sriracha lip balm, bacon shaving cream and the bacon lube, has come out with bacon condoms. Their tagline is “make your meat look like meat.”
If you need convincing, they also present this “fact”: “Each year 5 billion condoms are sold worldwide, 450 million in the US alone and exactly zero look, feel or taste like Bacon – until now.”
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The condoms are being offered on their website $9.99 for a 3-pack and are described this way:
“J&D's Bacon Condoms™ are proudly Made in America of the highest quality latex. Every Bacon Condom has been rigorously tested to help ensure reliability and the utmost safety for when you're makin' Bacon. As an added bonus, J&D's baconlube™ ultra premium water based meat flavored personal lubricant has been generously applied inside and out for an even more hot pork experience. “
Can I get a rimshot please?
At this rate, Sriracha condoms won't be far behind…I'll leave it up to you to make up your own Rooster sauce (a.k.a. cock sauce) pun.
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Before becoming an award-winning restaurant critic for OC Weekly in 2007, Edwin Goei went by the alias “elmomonster” on his blog Monster Munching, in which he once wrote a whole review in haiku.