I like to eat, and I'll try anything at least twice, but sometimes things are just… too much. At the risk of sounding like a food asshole (I'm really just a regular asshole), a lot of dishes get way too much hype for their own good–hey may be all right, but listen to the things some people have to say about cronuts or ramen burgers or other stupid things like that, and the dishes begin to sound like the second coming of pizza.
Some foods are underrated (persimmons), some are correctly rated, but these next five? The most overrated things in the world.
Is there even one thing that turkey is better than chicken for? I mean, it takes longer to thaw, it's harder to handle, much more difficult to cook evenly, and just all-around worse tasting.
Maybe I'm scared after the year my roommate woke me up at 10 a.m. Thanksgiving day to tell me that I needed to have a half-thawed turkey ready for a 20-person dinner that night because he had to work a shift at Target, but does anyone even like foul fowl?
Sure, cooking five or six chickens to serve the same amount of people doesn't sound appetizing. But when you think about it, it wouldn't take that much longer, and, given that chicken is just all around easier to do well, it's probably the more efficient bird.
Maybe I'll try something new this year…
Guys. It's literally a cookie with some ice cream on top of it. I don't care how big you make a cookie; it's still a cookie. How good a cookie tastes is not directly proportional to its surface area. If you want to gorge yourself, just be straight up about it. There's no shame in it (okay, maybe a little bit of shame).
Pizookies get a little bit extra shame because I'm pretty sure they started the whole one food + another food = AMAZING trend that took over the food blogging world earlier this year.
Thank goodness that died off, but pizookies? Still a thing.
3. Pumpkin Spice
This year's pumpkin spice trend is quite possibly my least favorite food trend, even beating out smashing food together and calling it genius. I'm at the point where I can't even put it into words how bewildered I am.
It's literally sugar, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, cloves, and allspice. There's nothing stopping you from mixing those spices in June or February or March. There's not even any kind of gourd in it whatsoever.
Whoever made “pumpkin spice” happen better have been paid a lot of money.
McRibs are fine. They're horribly unhealthy for you, and when they're uncooked they kind of look like a meat lego, sure, but you shouldn't be going to McDonald's without expecting a portion of your life to be shaved away anyways.
The problem is that they're seasonal, and that makes people gaga over them. There are multiple maps that you can look at to find the nearest McRib. Multiple groups of people have donated an appreciable amount of time so that other people can go on a voyage to find the sandwich. That's ridiculous.
But nothing is more overrated than…
Mitch Hedberg had a joke that went, “As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and end of show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes, all exciting at first but at the end you're fucking sick of them.”
I couldn't agree more. Pancakes are like the gateway drug of breakfast batter-based-items. You eat them first, but once you discover waffles or pancakes' sexier, European cousin crepes, there's no turning back. Pancakes just aren't as appealing afterwards. After all, who wants a mouth full of flavorless, doughy, moisture-sucking air, when you could have something nice for a change?