Forget Arresting the Pope–What About John Urell?

Sloppy drunkard Christopher Hitchens and wacky atheist Richard Dawkins made news recently because they want Pope Benedict XVI arrested when His Eminence visits Great Britain in September on account of the pontiff's pedo-protecting ways in his days as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger. Fine in theory, lousy in practice, and disregarding the bigger cover-ups that bishops and cardinals committed many times more than Vatican officials.

Which leads us to the following, fantastical proposal: who will be the brave magistrate that arrests John Urell?


Urell, after all, has far more to do with harboring, protecting, and apologizing for pedophiles than Ratzinger, than anyone else in the history of the Diocese of Orange. He is the only person to ever work as the right-hand man to every bishop in Orange County's history–William Johnson, Michael Driscoll, Tomas Clavel, Jaime Soto, Norman McFarland, Tod D. Brown, all of them pedophile protectors. Urell was privy to the crimes of Orange County's worst pedophiles–stayed quiet when they shipped Eleuterio Ramos down to Tijuana after he admitted to molesting a boy, did nothing when Driscoll shipped off Robert Foley to England after he sodomized a child, acted rudely toward sex-abuse victims yadda, yadda, yadda. The man is a disgusting, vile protector of perverts–and conservative blogger Matt Cunningham LOVES him!

Urell is the biggest criminal in the Orange diocese, even more than Brownie. Unfortunately, Orange County District Attorney Tony Rackaukas can't prosecute Urell due to statute of limitations, but let's pray that when Urell goes on one of his lavish vacations (like the time he went to a pricey steakhouse in Las Vegas and wore a purple suit–I have the picture, but have never quite known how to work it into a story…wait, I just did!), that he travels to an international spot, and that the World Court try him for crimes against humanity. Sure, and Brownie will let my corpse be buried at Holy Sepulcher…heckuva job, Brownie!

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