As you may know, the Double Down, initially supposed to be a limited run, has been extended. Yes, that's right, they sold enough of these sandwiches to warrant extending the run. I blame the media and our single-minded quest to produce the snarkiest article about this waste of meat. (Look how meta I am!)
While the Double Down is actually, as fast food goes, by far not the worst choice out there (though some have challenged the nutritional info), it's still disgusting, it's still not a complete meal, and it's still a sodium headache looking for a place to happen. Here are five ways you can at least begin to redeem your purchase of the salt lick known as the Double Down.
You'd think that ordering the grilled Double Down would
be the most obvious way to head toward a full meal, but while that does
help, the taste and texture are unbelievably obnoxious, far worse than
the fried version, and it actually contains more sodium, which is the worst feature of the Double Down.
1. Order some damn vegetables.
Seriously, while the Double Down is not exactly some kind of instant heart attack, it's also not a full meal. Add some vegetables, at least, would you? Go for the green beans, mushy garbage though they are. They're still very salty (290 mg of sodium; the average adult needs about 2300 mg of sodium a day, and the fried Double Down provides 1380 mg of that), but at least there might be some nutrients left–if you drink the pot likker.
2. Split it in half with someone, order a salad each, and top the salad with the “sandwich”.
Anyone who counts calories or fat grams knows that salad dressing is the hidden killer. Two tablespoons of dressing can contribute 200 calories if you're not careful, most of which are from fat. If you go for fat-free, you're loading up on sugar and sodium. So why not let the Double Down spew its melty goop on top of your salad?
3. Lettuce wrap it.
Yes, you'll need to bring in your own lettuce, because the salads at KFC are made of tiny pieces of rapidly aging lettuce. I suggest a nice soft lettuce such as Bibb, rather than trying to use romaine. If you really want to tart up your sandwich, do it up Viet style, with lots of herbs (cilantro, mint, Thai basil, maybe some rau ram?), maybe some rice noodles, and your lettuce. You won't need dipping sauce; it's plenty salty on its own.
4. Grind it up and use it for stuffing.
Pick a bland vegetable like zucchini, hollow it out, grind up your Double Down, and stuff it into the hollowed-out part. Bake under (lightly salted) tomato sauce until done. The grilled version might actually work better for this one, though you'll need a starch; perhaps rice.
5. Don't eat the damn thing in the first place.
Seriously, if you're reading this and thinking you want to redeem your Double Down, you're not exactly the target audience for the Double Down anyway. You could simply just not eat it. Go eat something better for you; leave the Double Down for the nutritionally challenged.