Whoever said, "It's better to be a leader than a follower" clearly never knew how amazing that Twitter would become. Really people, where else can you get news, jokes, classic one-liners, endless links to OC Weekly articles, fake deaths, and animal GIFs all in one place? And you don't even have to reminisce about high school, pretend to remember people's birthdays, and ohhh and ahhh over baby pics? Yep! Twitter is pretty awesome.
OK, simmer down all you "diehard Facebookers" who lovvve to hate on Twitter. Our guess is that all of the misguided hate comes because you, A) Don't want to take the time to find out what Twitter is about (it takes all of 5 seconds), B) You're just to chatty to keep it to 140 characters, C) You think people are just DYING to see yet another picture of your kid or what you ate today, D) You just can't think of anything witty to say, or E) You take life too serious and when someone makes a joke you take it to heart. If A-E is the case, then yeah, stick to Facebook.
While there are some obvious greats when it comes bringing the comedy in "real life" on the stage, in writing, and on the big screen, some other people happen to be just as funny while partaking in the Twitter. Here are five of the funniest Tweet-o-holics we'd follow to the ends of the Internet.
5. Gilbert Gottfried @RealGilbert
Bio: Mr. Gottfried served 8 years in prison for beating up an Eskimo. New York • www.gilbertgottfried.com
Notable Traits: After Aflac so stupidly canned Gilbert Gottfried for making a joke (it's his job people!), he turned what some might have label as a "negative," into a positively hilarious shtick on Twitter. His wit transcends through tweets that start with a joke (albeit good or bad) and end with apologizing. We're not doing his humor justice and for that we of course follow suit and express regret to Gilbert because it's totally classic. For that reason alone, he's one of the greats to follow on Twitter.
4. Bill Mc7 @BillMc7
Bio: Current head writer for all the TV shows. Follow me, RT and favorite all my tweets, and I'll probably give you a job. Los Angeles.
Notable Traits: To be clear, we seriously have no idea what he actually writes for in real life (he isn't a bragger like some peeps on Twitter) but we are sure he must write for something good because if not, this world would surely be a less funny place. "Bill" plays the role of a ladies man (OK, you be the judge of that.) while he cleverly nails a wide range of topics and rarely apologizes…unless being attacked by Bieber fans. He also likes to posts videos in the late night that are totally random, but we're not here to judge the music. Simply put, whoever this funny man of mystery is, we love him. You can thank us later.
3. Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
Bio: comedian nyc • www.colinquinn.com
Notable Traits: Colin is the king of ideas, IDGAC (look it up), and (semi-serious) self-promotion. One thing you need to know is that Colin isn't a "one-trick Tweeter" meaning that his tweets usually come in sets in order to get his point across. A general rule of thumb on Twitter is to not take anyone too serious and this goes for Colin as well although after you follow him for a while, it's kind of hard to understand why one of his big ideas don't stick. No one loves Colin like Colin loves Colin…well except for his loyal followers that love to talk shit and that he love to retweet.
2. Jim Norton @JimNorton
Bio: This is my Twitter account. There are many like it, but this one is mine. John Wayne Gacy's basement.
Notable Traits: Jim's Twitter is great for many reasons. In between the humor (and trust us, there is plenty of it) is speaking out on the media's need for glorifying tragedy, ripping into obvious injustice (Crime Fighter Jimmy), hating on his lack of sleep and nit-picking on his appearance in general. Since he's one of the biggest fan boy's out there, his timeline is also filled with pictures of himself with guests from the Opie and Anthony show as well as a few sexy "selfies" when we're lucky. One of the best things about his Twitter is that he always sticks to his guns. Double guns, bitch.
1. Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
Bio: Writer/Exec Producer on ABC's Modern Family. Los Angeles, CA • http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0958521/
Notable Traits: Being a writer and producer on one of the hottest shows on TV means of course he's all about self-promoting but that aside, Danny and Twitter seem to go hand in hand. He makes married life and fatherhood funny talking plenty of shit (in a loving way) on his family, he talks plenty of shit (in a not so loving way) on himself, and his wit makes it easy to see why he is one of the best in the biz. Why he doesn't have as many followers as Justin Bieber though? Clearly the teenagers of the world are assholes. Just ask Danny.