It's mid-September. You thought you'd be wearing tights, snuggling in a scarf and drinking a hot pumpkin latte. Even if you're not that dumb, maybe you hoped, just hoped, for 80-degree weather instead of 106. Maybe you could wear that scarf at nighttime and sip that latte after 8 p.m.
You were wrong. We were all wrong.
Orange County girls don't get to pull out their favorite knee-high boots this year. Instead, peacoats will defy their classification as timeless, and the idea of wearing a turtleneck will be sickening. Our endless summer has become a curse. But we can try to live in ignorance when it comes to fall fashion. The cozy house coat, knit pants and cocoon fur jackets are not going to work this year, but there are a few items ladies can don and be up-to-date while skipping the heatstroke.
Mod Mini-Dresses and -Skirts: Short '60s tank-top dresses and mini-skirts in bright colors are a go, but you might want to avoid actual vintage. Don't let the air conditioning fool you as you're getting dressed: Wearing polyester and vinyl in this heat is a terrible idea.
Cowgirl: Cowboys and -girls were so hot and still looked cool! Shade your scalp with a 10-gallon hat, soak up sweat with a dainty handkerchief around your neck, and embellish an airy cotton dress with a Texas-sized belt buckle.
Sneakers: Who knows where the powers that be come up with these ideas, but sneakers of all breeds are in for fall—even the ugly ones, which comprise about 90 percent of the species. They won't beat sandals, but you can wear a breathable pair at nighttime and feel as if you tried a little.