Revolver Magazine's Golden Gods Awards show didn't offer much to write home about on Wednesday. However, Heard Mentality did get one thing out of it: our very first impostor music reporter! This guy, pictured above with the bulletproof helmet hair interviewing bassist Chris Kael from Five Finger Death Punch, does not work for us. He's just some guy. But according to our OC Register colleague, Kelli Skye Fadroski, he and a couple friends finagled their way into our vacant spot in the press line next to her for the show's black carpet interview segment. They posed as Weekly reporters, and began shouting random interview questions to any musicians who happened to walk by.
Before we get into that, just know that this is definitely one of those gigs we knew we'd arrive fashionably late to. We had no intention of hiking up to Club Nokia in LA extra early on a Hump Day to do man-on-the-carpet interviews. Sorry, we barely get to the OC Music Awards on time and that's practically right down the street.
So when the hoards of press lined up to do the Golden God's black carpet interviews, we were nowhere to be found–a fact that helmet hair and his buddies readily took advantage of. According to Fadroski, the three metal fans–who appeared to be in their 30s–started shouting things like "What are you wearing?!" to passers by. Apparently they actually got an answer from Alice Cooper: "J.C. Penny!"
They also asked Doyle from the Misfits if he works out. We're guessing his answer was "get the fuck away from me!"
And finally, they started shouting out the tough questions on everyone's mind: "Ice cream enemas…thoughts?!"
Too bad their charms and fake reporter voices didn't work on Jacoby Shaddix of Papa Roach. "OC Weekly is ugly, OC Register is hot," he yelled after they tried to ask him something about citrus. Wow, guys, thanks. Not only did you sully our name to satisfy your fanboy fantasies, you also made us look ugly…next to the Register. We don't care how much of a stone cold fox Fadroski might be, that's an insult we just can't tolerate. On the bright side, your interview skills are at least good enough to get a job as an intern here. Unpaid of course. Send an application and maybe we'll hire you for real.