Irvine Police are investigating a recent iPad theft where the victim is a man who said he hired an escort through backpage.com and the alleged thief is a woman who was accompanied by two men wielding pepper spray. The now iPad-less one also claims the unthinkable: the "Ashley" who came to his apartment door was not the same "Ashley" pictured with the personal ad titled, "Hot Sexy & Ready–Hotel accommodating-I come to you–21."
One prays that does not mean the "Ashley" at the door had an Adam's apple. Whatever the case, when the man pointed out the photographic discrepancies and said he was not interested in completing their "date," she is alleged to have demanded $700 just for showing up. Jeez, how much is your 30 seconds rate, honey?
The one-sided negotiating led to an argument that escalated to the point where the man went to his phone to call the cops. She is alleged to have grabbed the iPad and headed for the door. He rushed over and took the Apple tablet back.
Faster than you can say "Steve Jobs Lives," the escort's cronies are said to have appeared at the front door, given the fellow a pepper spray facial and yanked away the iPad before all the strangers fled.
I just went to ask our crack backpage.com staff if it is possible to trace "Ashley's" ad back to her and found their desks to be empty. Then I went to our online classifieds and found them to be under construction. Turns out the Weekly and others in our chain are no longer affiliated with backpage.com, which explains why I didn't get a full GFE as a Christmas bonus.