[Editor's Note: Quick Questions is our semi-regular feature where we ask comedians a ton of random questions without giving them time to think of anything funny to say. Surprisingly, they still do.]
Chris Fonseca may be challenged in some ways but one thing he isn't doing is letting that slow him down. Nicknamed "Crazy Legs" and "America's original sit-down comic," Fonseca's cerebral palsy may keep him wheelchair-bound but that doesn't stop him from bringing crowds to their feet when he headlines cities across the country. Since we already know he's done Letterman, been on HBO, and he just recorded his seventh album, "You'll Like Me, When I'm Angry" we just had to learn more about the man that makes em' laugh while not letting the odds that are stacked against him get in the way. In order to do just that, we threw a couple of our favorite "Quick Questions" at him!
OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): How do you like to handle hecklers?
Chris Fonseca: I always repeat what they said first. That way, the audience is on the same page and it gives me a minute to come up with a response. I try to not be overbearing right away, but if I have to, I can just destroy someone verbally.
Is there anything you consider off limits when it comes to making jokes?
Anything to do with harming or sex acts with children. There needs to be a line drawn somewhere and this an absolute line with me.
If they made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you?
Homer Simpson. I'm kind of the clueless dad who is almost funny by accident.
If you were on death row, what would you pick as your last meal?
Jell-O. Jell-O is always funny and I'd need a laugh at that point.
Ohhh, I'm a huge fan of Jell-O! I gotta add that to my list too. What's a question that you get asked all of the time and you absolutely hate it?
I get asked to tell jokes at a party. It used to bother me, until I figured out the perfect response. I say, "OK, there was a comedian at a party, someone says tell me a joke, so the comedian says, "OK, there was a comedian at a party…" If people are dense, I can repeat this for hours.
If your house was on fire and you could grab only three things before getting out, what would they be?
My wheelchair, my cell phone, and the number to an all-female nude fire department.
Ha! That sounds about right! Are you working on anything new this year that we should know about?
A new CD, "You'll Like Me When I'm Angry" and a book, "Daddy, Where Do Jokes Come From?"
Would you ever do a reality show and if you would, what would you call it?
I'd call it, "Did That Just Really Happen?" For example, a month ago, an employee at Frontier Airlines tried to charge me $35 to bring my McDonald's food on the plane claiming it was "an extra carry-on."
Urghhh. Airlines seriously suck these days. OK, dazzle us with the best advice that you've ever received please.
"What others think of you is none of your business."