The Catholic Church mandates that its bishops retire at age 75. Most bishops accept this rule, but those who don't must write a letter to the pope asking to postpone their retirement.
It's the latter scenario that Orange County Catholics must face, as Diocese of Orange Bishop Tod D. Brown refuses to end his embarrassing reign of protecting pedophiles and costing his flock over $100 million in sex-abuse settlements–all because he wants to rip them off further by sticking around until his Tod Mahal is built.
Sources tell the Weekly that Brownie has already written a letter to Pope Benedict XVI asking that his mandatory retirement be delayed five more years, a letter already in the possession of the U.S.'s apostolic nuncio, Pietro Sambi. God knows what excuses His Excellency gave His Holiness, but insiders at Marywood say Brownie desperately wants to build a new cathedral up the street from South Coast Plaza, a project for which he already bought a million-dollar home to replace his current eleven-room, two-story abode. He thinks that the proposed Christ Our Savior Cathedral will be his lasting legacy to the Orange diocese, a legacy he knows is severely lacking compared to the outsized personality (and sins) of Norman McFarland, the pioneering efforts of William Johnson, or the wabiness of Jaime Soto, who may very well replace him when the inevitable occurs.
Five more years? Just get out of our lives already–you already did a heckuva job, Brownie, covering up for pederasts!