Question: In the history of this blog, how many writers can say they got the headlining act to leave the venue, walk into the parking lot and get into a 1960 Ford Starliner on Cragars to take photographs?
Answer: One. Me.
The event in question happened with Big Freedia last night at The Constellation Room.
All week my friend Gabe had been telling me how he wanted Big Freedia (aka the Queen Diva, the Dick Eater, the Late Night Creeper — ya besta buhleeva!) to take pictures in his car. I told him it wasn't happening. He showed up in the afternoon and was denied. At this point, I figured he'd drop it. He didn't.
After her set, the New Orleans bounce rapper was kind enough to take pictures with anyone who wanted one (you KNOW we made that shit happen). After our photo opportunity, we decided to leave, but not before Gabe had a brilliant idea.
“I should ask Freedia to take pictures in the lowrider,” he said as we walked through the parking lot.
I agreed. So did the two girls we were with.
The three of us stayed at the car and talked about how amazing it would be if Gabe could pull it off. Of anyone I've ever known, Gabe is the only person who could do something like this.
Hope, Sarah and I stood around the car for about three minutes. Then, Sarah, as if she had seen a ghost, said, “Oh my God. He's with Freedia!”
I looked up and through the empty Observatory parking lot was my friend was walking with the Queen Diva.
Honestly, the rest was a blur. All I know is I sat in the backseat while Freedia was behind the wheel. The whole time, I was thinking, “Holy fucking shit. How close am I to her? A foot? Six inches? Four inches?”
Gabe asked Freedia about her car, to which I think she said she drives a 350Z drop-top. But I could be wrong. Shit was hectic and God knows I wasn't exactly taking notes, so please don't quote me on that.
I asked when she was playing in New Orleans so we could go see her. Totally lame question and I beat myself for asking as the words came out of my mouth. She said she had a show on Sunday and was going straight from the airport to the club. That's dedication. That's the Queen Diva.
Freedia kept complimenting the ride, which, to Gabe's credit, is awesome. Then Gabe said how good Freedia looked behind the wheel before commenting that the Diva “always looks good.”
Keep in mind, people — Gabe and I are 100 percent straight.
Freedia was super friendly and totally cool about Hope and Sarah taking pictures. Another girl came running over to take more. Freedia never complained, never said she had anywhere to be. She sat, took photos and was in a damn good mood.
As Freedia walked back into the venue, I thought, “If I ever get married, that will be the second coolest night of my life.”
As far as the show itself…
Orange County, Orange County, Orange County — I am so disappointed in you. Big Freedia the Queen Diva plays a ridiculously small venue for $14–the day after the amazingly random opening slot for the Postal Service– and you can't get more than 60 people to show up? And don't give any of this “It was a Wednesday night” nonsense. I got up at 7 a.m. yesterday and worked all day and I made it. Plus, I had to be somewhere today — in the South Bay thankyouverymuch — at 9 a.m. So I don't want to hear it. You should have been there and you blew it.
Freedia opened with “Na Who Mad” and from there it was, as the Queen Diva says, ass everywhere.
To say the rest of the show was filled with hits would be an understatement because every Big Freedia song is a hit. That said, we were treated to “Azz Everywhere,” “Gin in My System,” “Excuse” and countless others that made the entire room bounce.
As if three girls shaking asses on stage wasn't enough, one of Freedia's dancers got on the bar and broke it off like a No. 2 pencil. Then another girl shimmied her way through the crowd as if she was floating on clouds (if the clouds had a bounce rock soundtrack attached to them). And, in the middle of the set, the dancers got off stage, grabbed “volunteers” from the audience, leaned them against the stage and let's just say shit got wild after that.
Freedia's set was about an hour. It should have been longer. As I'm typing this on Friday morning, I think she should still be playing. In fact, some rich OC resident should pay Freedia to perform weekly — preferably at my house. Can we make that happen? I can provide the lowrider.