Dear High-End Roach Coaches: I admit it–I'm one judgmental pendejo. I have dismissed ustedes as mere scenesters, as ingrates who hopped onto a trend without acknowledging the Mexican pioneers who sued for the rules and regulations you can now easily navigate because you're not swarthy. I've yet to review any of you for This Hole-in-the-Wall Life, partly because the few of you that I've tried haven't really impressed me, but because I don't seek ustedes out–why should I bother with your ceaseless tweets, really, when Taco Row on Main Street in SanTana can take me from Cuernavaca to Nayarit to Morelos and la mera capirucha within a couple of blocks?
But I'm willing to eat my words–literally–if you come to me. And I promise to write about any who take the challenge–but caveat loncher or whatever the proper Latin is to make that aphorism work. Jump the jump to read my proposal!
Here's the deal: every Monday, us Weeklings do…something, which means I'm in the office at noon. I usually hit up Wafu of Japan afterward for lunch, but I'll patronize whatever food truck shows up Monday at noon instead. Don't give me free food–I pay, and you better not treat me like anything else than the nerd I am. If you show up, I promise a review for the following Monday on this infernal blog–and if you coordinate with us in time (more on this in a bit), we'll also let our readers know in advance that you're swinging by to hopefully get you a couple more eaters. But it'll be a true review–if I like you, I'll sing the praises of the gods and maybe even slot you into my dead-tree column. But if you're bad, I'll do a Lola Gaspar on you.
You won't just come to satiate my curiosity, though: We're in the middle of massive industrial park in Costa Mesa, just north of John Wayne Airport, which means you can potentially have hundreds of customers wishing to break the monotony of their corporate-drone lives. Deal?
Some of ustedes have already done this: Louks to Go came last week, and I'll be reviewing them this coming Monday, and I believe Taco Dawg is coming that Monday as well, which means I'll review them the following week. But don't all come at once–one at a time, cabrones. To coordinate, send us a message on our OC Weekly food Twitter, or email the Queen of the Editorial Assistants, Jessica Ford, at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Now: FEED ME!!!