!Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican,
Why do Mexicans always find the need to cut in line? I see this happening in la carniceria, the airport and everywhere else there are Mexicans.
A Disappointed Mexicana

Although I have great empathy for the plight of illegal aliens and their families, their illegal “cutting in line” ahead of others has resulted in depriving other law-abiding families waiting to legally immigrate from the same entitlements, opportunities and citizenship they so righteously and aggressively defend. At its core, it just isn't right and cannot be justified with hard work or innocent children. My wife's brothers and sisters live in near poverty in the Philippines, but they're waiting so they can become LEGAL immigrants.
Waiting and Waiting

Dear Wab and Gabacho,
I get this question asked every week, so to Disappointed, Waiting and all other curious minds: grow some huevos. Mexicans cut in line not because they're rude but because they have lives to live and places to go. Disappointed: Are you going to patiently stand there like a pendeja as Mexican after Mexican cuts in front of you? Do what Mexicans do: cut in front of them. Or at least slash their tires afterward. And Waiting: let's be realistic. The only reason Mexicans come into this country illegally is because it's easy for them—just one hopped border and you're here. If the Philippines weren't thousands of miles away, your impoverished in-laws would swim over faster than Mark Spitz. Why wait years and years just because it's the right way? Waiting to immigrate legally won't calm those hunger pangs. Besides, entering America illegally, agitating for rights and watching as a foreign government grants you recognition under pressure isn't a sin: it's called the Declaration of Independence.

I'm a Mexican güero: light-skinned, green-eyed and blond/brown-haired. I experience more racism from my own people thangabachos. Why so much hate toward Mexicangüeros by my darker-skinnedraza? Do I remind thepinches indios too much of their Spanish conquerors? Are they just jealous that their hornyrucas and sisters keep putting the moves on me? All of the above?
Güero and Loving It!

Dear Pocho,
The only thing Mexicans alternately love and hate more than los Estados Unidos are güero(light-skinned) Mexicans. Blame the Aztecs: when the light-skinned, bearded Spaniards showed up in Mexico in 1519, Moctezuma and amigos thought the conquistadors were manifestations of Quetzalcoatl, a light-skinned, bearded deity that oral tradition promised would return to save mankind in 1519—the very year the Spaniards showed up. The Spaniards quickly put that myth to waste by destroying the Aztec empire, but that initial reverence for güeros seared itself in the Mexican psyche. Light skin became synonymous with power, wealth, destruction. Dark skin meant indio: loser, poor, estúpidoenough to believe that marauders were gods. Not even the efforts of Mexican intellectuals during the 1920s to popularize the idea of Mexicans as la raza cósmica (the cosmic race, made up of black, Indian and white blood) could destroy the stranglehold guerismo has on Mexico. That's why you see light-skinned Mexicans on television, in the presidential palaces and in corporate offices. Being a Mexican güero takes you only so far, though, Güero and Loving It: you're still Mexican, after all.

Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at ga*******@oc******.com. And those of you who do submit questions: include a hilarious pseudonym,por favor, or we'll make one up for you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *