Dear Mexican,

I heard the Mexican on KABC-AM 790's Al Rantel program April 20 and it brought to mind one thing I'd been meaning to ask. The Mexican went on a rant some time ago about how hurtful the Taco Bell talking dog and the Frito-Lay Frito Bandito were (I start laughing just writing that; to think that someone would think twice about a cartoon character or a talking dog. Good God.). But tell me, Mexican, why is the defamatory character that rides with the ¡Ask the Mexican! column funny? Don't tell me it's a parody of the previous insults made by corporate America. If the Mexican was genuinely offended by the talking taco doggie, no doubt some Mexican-Americans that pick up theWeekly are equally hurt. Why don't you practice what you preach, Mexican? ¡Que insultante!

Geez, Ümlauts Enrage Youth (GÜEY)

Dear Gabacho,

Gee, thanks a lot, GÜEY. How dare you say this column's logo is defamatory—that's a picture of me. Don't you know most Mexicans look like this? That's why the Taco Bell Chihuahua or the Frito Bandito are such affronts to the Mexican community—they're not authentic enough. When Mexican-American organizations protested the company's Chihuahua in the late 1990s, we weren't angry because he spoke like Mel Blanc's character on the Jack Benny Program,Sy the Mexican. We were angry because, in his most infamous commercial, the Taco Bell Chihuahua wore a beret. A beret! Where was the sombrero?! And where's the gold tooth, cactus-like beard and evil leer on the Frito Bandito? That caricature is less Mexican than Ryan Seacrest. The authenticity of our ¡Ask a Mexican! logo is what makes it funny, GÜEY—and if you can't laugh at racist depictions of wabs, gooks or fags, then you, sir, are not human. Or are perhaps a Green Party member.

By the way, thanks for the plug, GÜEY! Now, anyone who wants to ask the Mexican live can tune in to theAl Rantel Show, which broadcasts Monday through Friday from 6-9 p.m. on KABC-AM 790. For the past two weeks, the Mexican has infuriated and entertained the conservative Rantel by fielding his questions on America's favorite batch of half-breeds. Keep reading this column for future appearances. And if you got a spicy question about Mexicans, ask the Mexican at ga*******@oc******.com. And those of you who do submit questions: include a hilarious pseudonym,por favor, or we'll make one up for you!

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