A couple years ago I introduced readers to Anthony J. Tarquinto and The Real 40 Year Old Virgin of Orange County, the Aliso Viejo author's self-published tome that mixes his unique lack of sexual experience with a political ideology that finds Barack Obama a threat to America. In the months since, Tarquinto has spread his “expertise” on celibacy and tea party ideology. Others are taking notice, although nothing has apparently changed his status between the sheets.
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Under the “Experience” heading on Tarquinto's Celibacy/Abstinence page on AllExperts.com, it's alternately read, “I am the oldest male virgin in the United States” or “I am one of only a handful of male virgins left in the United States.” From that perspective, Tarquinto dispenses advice to the likes of 13-year-old Gracie, who can't imagine having sex because she has “seen a boys thing” and it's “really gross looking.” She suspects sex is “really gross and painful.”
“You are very wise, Gracie,” Tarquinto responds. “At your age, sex really is gross and painful. Don't do it.” He later advises her to wait until she is married, give her father a hug and accept Jesus Christ as her lord and savior.
When an unnamed inquisitor wonders how one can reject the sexual stimuli one is constantly bombarded with in this culture and not feel his life is incomplete, Tarquinto answers that it is those failing to practice abstinence who are missing out. He holds he is celibate because God wants him to be at this point in life, and that he will eventually get it on. Once he finds the right girl, of course.
Tarquinto shared some of his views on an entirely different subject in a July American Thinker piece titled, “The Federal Reserve and Financial Repression.” While he does not exactly call for the death of the central bank ala Ron Paul, Tarquinto sets a chain-of-events in motion that could eventually cause a run on ATMs and average Americans being unable to buy gas and Slushies. The ad next to the copy he sent has an image of Obama pointing and the words, “OH YES, YOU CAN! 21 Ways to Frustrate Obama's Army of Snoops, Busybodies, and Asset-Grabbing Bureaucrats.”
In a recent email, Tarquinto told me about his being interviewed by Kimberley Johnson, author of The Virgin Diaries, on her In My Head blog. “I wasn't too fond of her questions, but she gave me a fair shake,” he reports. After explaining to Johnson how he came to be a now-42-year-old virgin, Tarquinto says that people knowing: 1) He's never been laid, and B) He is very conservative–like from, uh, reading his book, advice column and interviews–plays a part in his failing to find a love match.
Now I'm toxic. It's all out there now. Any girl that reads my book finds out that I am a far-right, fire and brimstone conservative (pro-life, Sarah Palin, the Tea Party, etc.) and I can't hide it. Most women that I meet nowadays are repulsed by Sarah Palin, yet I identify with her. I'm a loose cannon. No girl wants a guy that thinks and talks like I do, and that's just reality. I said what I said and wrote what I wrote, and now I have to deal with it. The book has been out two years now and I'm just finding this out.
I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I don't want “sympathy” sex. But If I ever do find a girl now, despite everything that's happened to me, at least I know it will be real. At least I know that she'll know everything about me and I won't have to worry about hiding anything. I won't have to spring it on her that I'm a virgin.
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Tarquinto also tells me he was contacted by the other Virgin Diaries–the TLC reality show that had wags wagging over clips that showed virgin couples locking extremely tight for their wedding day “I now pronounce you . . .” kisses.
“I don't know if they'll put me
on the show,” Tarquinto laments. “I think my politics are a little too toxic. They're probably
afraid that I'll go off on how the Federal Reserve is destroying the
dollar and high corporate tax rates are chasing investment capital out of
the country, Obama is an abortionist, etc. but who cares? At least I'm on
their radar.”
Whatever gets you through the night.
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OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.