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ET TU, GUNDERSON?
I am disappointed in Corporal Allen Gunderson (“The Education of Corporal Gunderson,” March 7) for reasons that seem ubiquitous with the “I'm the victim” Gen-X-ers. Allen obviously didn't read the label when he joined the Marines. The primary goal of the military is not to provide lost souls a “good education”—that is a benefit of the military, not the mission. Given the bias of his article, I am amazed the degree in Asian studies he received in Japan (no doubt paid for by the Marines) and his classes in international relations and world development did not turn him into a conscientious objector on the spot. What he did learn was “It comes down to basic money,” and so instead of getting out and being true to his beliefs, he stayed in the Marines, enjoying his paycheck every two weeks, and then went on to badmouth the hand that fed him.
The fallacious article uses the all-too-familiar Gen-X motto “they” as the source of his frustration in addition to misnomers concerning billion-dollar missiles and troops getting “kicked out” of the military.
Allen has let me down for two other reasons as well: I am a proud Gulf War vet, and I am an even prouder Gunderson.
C.J. Gunderson Irvine Allen Gunderson responds:First, I'm proud of my military service, and as for “getting out,” I signed a contract for four years, and I am a man who fulfills my commitments. I would not have been “true to my beliefs” if I had re-enlisted with the military after honoring my commitment. Second, I think there is a useful and necessary purpose for a “responsible” U.S. military. As I stated in my article, our military has a place in the diplomacy process of helping foster “human rights, spreading democracy and letting people rule themselves around the world,” but unfortunately it's not the case. While you say that receiving a good education “is a benefit of the military, not the mission,” recruiters say otherwise—$1.9 billion is spent each year on recruiting high school students into the military, mostly from low-income communities. Further, I take exception to the idea that my Asian studies degree from the University of Hawaii—not Japan—was “no doubt paid for by the Marines.” After being honorably discharged, I, like many other students, worked for two years saving money for college. While the $450-per-month stipend from the G.I. Bill helped pay my rent, I earned the rest of the money I needed via savings, student loans and work. Finally, I'm also proud of being a Gunderson. I am very proud that the countries of my great-grandparents (Norway and Sweden) are world leaders in many areas, including environmental policies, extended paid parental leave and universal health care. Now that's a set of “family values” and a heritage of which to be proud.
Editor's note: Due to errors in editing Allen Gunderson's “The Education of Corporal Gunderson,” the wrong dates were given for the start of the air and ground campaigns during the 1991 Persian Gulf War; the “friendly fire” incident occurred during training in Oman a week before the ground war began; and vehicles exposed to chemical and biological agents were washed down at Camp Pendleton after the war. War, however, remains hell.
ASS IS
To the author of the Hey, You! “The Ass Bandit” (March 7): Your in-depth description of another co-worker's bathroom habits was repulsive. What? You actually measured the size of the turd as well as the stink? Quick answer, dickhead: walk out of the stall! Surely that would save you having to give a blast-by-blast account.
To OC Weekly: Great job! Successfully making people vomit over your toilet-tissue paper has to be a bonus for you, too.
Lisa Kirby via e-mail
I read your “Ass Bandit” letter and had to laugh—and cry—for I, too, had to deal with an Ass Bandit in my building. Writing a letter to OC Weekly might get a chuckle, but it won't actually help your cause. What you need to do is write up something eloquent like: “Hey, Ass Bandit! Quit leaving your feces all over the toilet. Please be considerate to others, practice the courtesy flush method, etc., etc.” Leave a copy of your note taped directly above the toilet in every stall in every restroom the Ass Bandit uses. Eventually, this person will get the point. And if they don't, I wish mercy upon your nasal passages.
Abe Ramos via e-mail HE-MAN, NOT LAWYER
Please be informed that I am totally offended by your new column, “The Adventures of John Moorlach.” In fact, I am seriously considering filing a lawsuit for libel for what was implied in your March 14, 2003, edition. I am not and never have been an “Esq.” I am an honest man. I am not an attorney. Please print this correction at your earliest convenience. Other than that, I'm really looking forward to future columns and photos as my adventures continue! Every day is a gift from God, and I'm having a blast!
John M. W. Moorlach, CPA, CFP Orange County Treasurer-Tax Collector DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS
Due to editing errors in Daniel C. Tsang's “Divine Comedy” (March 14), we falsely reported that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences ruled the Palestinian film Divine Intervention could not compete for a Best Foreign Picture Oscar because the Academy does not consider Palestine a country. Further, we said the Academy accepts films from Taiwan, which is also not a country. Actually, filmmaker Elia Suleiman did not submit his film for Oscar consideration because of the Academy's stance on Palestine. And while Taiwan is not recognized as a country by the United Nations, 20 million Taiwanese would beg to differ.
